My blog family. I am warning you now because I love you. Turn your eyes away if you wish to not see the rage that follows. I really don't want to hold back tonight. Maybe it's because I am tired of keeping quiet when things happen that irritate me. And guess what? That's my fault. I should have enough guts to actually speak up when something is bothering me. However, I don't like to rock the boat. I don't like to create drama when there doesn't need to be. Unless it's Vampire Diaries.. Then I want to drown in that. When it comes to my life though? No. I don't need it. I have enough crap going on without making my own drama up. And yet? That seems to be exactly what I am doing this evening.
Honestly. It is my fault. I don't need to be mad. It is totally ridiculous. But.. I am going to vent about it anyways. I like to think I am a pretty easy person to live with. I mean, I live differently on my own then I do at home. Its really weird, but I seem to be the neat freak. Anyone that knows me is going to be like.. whaaat? Yeah, it's true. My dishes are always done. I clean up after I use the restroom. My room is usually in pretty good shape. Except where there is laundry to wash because I actually don't have anywhere to put it. My room is a little tiny.
I don't mind doing the dishes. I don't mind cleaning the bathroom. I don't mind dealing with my laundry whenever I can. Ain't no thang. Steaming the floor? No big deal. If I am so cool with all of this? Why I am so peeved tonight?? Because. I have a line. It's a dumb line, and kind of out of control as well. But because that was the ONE thing that I really can control in my new life? Poof. Gone. I am ashamed of myself that it is frustrating me so much. But dang-it!! My parking spot..
I have been parking in the same spot since I moved into my new place. My dad said to me "Establish that as your spot! Sid. You need to do it" I said "no" at first because I thought I would be stepping on toes if I parked my vehicle there. I got over that. So, been parking in my spot for close to 3 months now. I have never had a problem. But one of the girls I live with has recently been taking it over. I know. How petty can I get?? But let's put some icing on the cake here.
I have a lot of dishes. I have one set of dishes I can actually put in the microwave. Those are the dishes I got for a STEAL okay?? They were so cheap. And here, I am not worried about sharing. We are all adults.
Where I draw the line is you use my dishes and then leave them in the sink for days to get crusty, or leave them in your room to grow things. Use my dishes! Please! But like... rinse them out!!! You don't even have to wash them! Just rinse them out and leave them for me to do! At least I will know they are clean! Also, if you use my last bowl, you better be washing it and making sure there is at least one for me. Since you know, they're mine.
So dirty all my dishes and then take they spot I have been parking in for 3 months. And then use all my bread and leave the heels. Nice. I deserve this little bit of frustration.
Okay. I am done on that subject. Don't need to be creating any drama at my house. I gotta live here, you know. I just HAD to put on my big girl panties and move out of my home away from my family and my Target girls that I love so much to the big scary real world.
Also. Boys suck. Yeah dudes. You guys suck. Why in the world do you do the crap you do?? Like, let's ditch people at the Front Runner station so they can ride with all of the crack and heroine addicts then let them sit at a baseball game alone? Why do you just flirt with girls when you know you're good looking and be like, oh hey! Yeah, you're not good looking enough so boo on you??
Because of a combination of the few things mentioned above, I have lost control of my life completely. I feel like I have no control of my body because it's like... Oh Sid. your fat arse is hungry. Go eat something. Then it's like.. your arse is getting fat. Stop eating things so you can be smoking hot in a wedding dress if that ever happens. then like.. ooooh, you're never getting married *tears* go eat a piece of cake to numb the pain! Stupid brain. Plus my car has been kind of on the fritz. I get these really hard calls at work, so my CPH is in the pooper. It all is just getting to me. I have nothing in my life that I am actually in charge. Everything is dictated by something else. So my one thing that was absolutely set in stone.. my little parking spot. Gone. So now, my OCD is going to come out to play. I am going to drive myself nuts because I can't control the things I need to. Nobody can, but I sure as heck am going to try so that I can have something that is constant.
But let's face it. I don't have it that bad. I have a house that is nice. At least my room mates are sweet, and the owner is the bomb dot com. Woop woop. I have a job. I do pretty well, though it isn't anywhere near my own expectations. I have had some crappy friends that went and decided to live life without me. That happens, but I also have a handful of really awesome friends that are going to be there for me for a really long time, and have stuck with me through thick and thin. I have an amazing family. I have a cousin who is addicted to Vampire Diaries which is awesome. And we bake cookies together and tell each other stupid secrets. My car goes. I have a place to park. I have a CAR to park. I don't have a boy friend, but I have a few guy friends who respect me, and somehow manage to help build up my sham of self esteem.
I think I'll live.
