Thursday, June 28, 2012

Dumb As Rocks and Internet Dating

Oh the HORRORS of this week! You guys can hardly imagine things I've said, and things that have happened just in the last few days. I am an AWFUL human being. Though, I still stick by what I've said and done because I do have a back bone! I'm sure you're curious as to what I'm talking about. Don't worry. I'll share my stories with you. You are partially my family after all.
Let me start with my creeper "date" I went on this week. I'm going to explain why I did this first though! No judgments! Please! This will NEVER happen again because I was absolutely HORRIFIED at what happened. Yes. I'm using my caps lock button a lot today. It's just because I have so much passion about how horribly awful that evening was!
It starts with internet dating. Oh gosh. Even thinking about it, I'm just cringing. Do I recommend it? No way! I will tell nobody no matter how desperate you are to do online dating! Me? I wasn't desperate. It was out of boredom. This is what I decided to do when I was house sitting a couple of weeks ago. The ONLY reason is because I was spending so much time alone that I needed some contact with people, even if it was via inter-web! So! I joined this site and talked to a few people over the weeks. I didn't give out my number to anyone except the ONLY CRAZY ON THAT SITE! Okay, he's not the only crazy, but he's the only one I was talking to.
Well, he called me on Monday evening because he was closer to my location. (He lives in SLC btw). Well, he called and asked if I would like to hang out. He didn't sound crazy at all. He was communicating clearly and all of that jazz. So, I said yes. I texted him my address (I KNOW! I KNOW!) And he came right on over. Thank GOODNESS it was 9 o'clock at night because that is much easier to cut the evening short. Why would I want to cut the evening short right when he walked into my home? Let's start with the fact that this boy wasn't wearing any freaking shoes! With his nasty dirty feet. Ewwww. And! He smelled so AWFUL. Like B.O. Onion-y B.O. GAHHHH. I just wanted him out of my house right then. So, I grabbed my keys and we went out for frozen yogurt. When we walked into the yogurt shop, guess what he didn't have on? SHOES. Golly. But, that isn't it.
While we were riding in the car, he kept looking at me in this weird unsettling way. Like he was trying to make eye contact with me while I was driving. It was very very intrusive. Of course, I didn't want to make eye contact at all because I was worried he would see the utter revulsion in my eyes because believe me, it was there. Well, we get back to my house and I look at my mom when I walk in the door and mouthed "help" as discretely as I could. She looked at me like "How!?" I shook my head.
This person and I walk downstairs. I had started watching Rent before he called, and I decided that I wanted to watch that. All the while, I'm plotting on how I can get this guy to leave my house in the shortest amount of time. I keep faking things like I have to pee or I need a drink so that I can just get away from him. Oh! BTW. He put his nasty black-soled feet right on my coffee table! Oh! And! He kept poking me! While I was driving, while we were sitting down.
I HATE being poked. SOOOOO much. Why? It's because when people start poking you, it's like being tickled. You tell them to stop, and they just don't! I'm getting mad just thinking about this. ANYWAYS. He kept poking me in the side, in the head, on my foot, while we're watching this movie. I looked at him three different time and said, "WHAT are you doing?! Why?? Knock it off! I hate that!" He just kept saying," I didn't do it very much." I told him "You've been doing it all night. Leave me alone." He didn't. Freaking creep. So, after a few trips upstairs, begging my mom to fake an emergency or SOMETHING so I could get him to leave, I got an idea. Just a little white lie to control when he left me alone. I just told him that I had to work at 6 a.m. the next morning. I didn't have to work at all until 6 p.m. But! Who cares! It worked!
At 10:30 p.m. I walked him outside, gave this stinky boy an awkward side hug and said,"Drive safe. Don't crash." Then walked right inside. If that is not a hint, then I don't know what is.
To finish my evening, I got two texts from him "Did you have fun tonight, cuttie?" Just like that. The answer is NO. I didn't have fun! I was scared for my life most of the time! The crazy thing is, Gentry, my cute little sister only passed this boy (who I refer to as the Creeper) once. When she did, she went right up to my mom and said,"I don't get good feelings about that boy." Then proceeded to tell me that when he looked at me, he looked like he was going to kill me. Cue chills. Blalllah. Oh! One more creepy thing that kept happening. He would look at me (though I wouldn't look at him) and when I'd say "what", he would just say "hi." GAOIEAOIERIG! I had to freak out a little. Sorry. I have refused to text this person back because I don't know how to say "leave me alone" in a nice way.
On to the next event!! This is my embarrassing moment. Golly. I can't believe I'm going to post this where everyone can see it, but I'm not going to deny that I said it because I will stand by what I said! Basically, I was at work at Arby's. I hate when we hire new people because little do people know, fast food is hard. You have to be quick, smart, and be able to do things by yourself. Not just wait for instructions on what to do. And that is all new kids do: stand around and wait to be told what to do.
Well, we have this new hire. He is REALLY slow. No just at the jobs he's doing, but actually learning what to do. For example. I asked him to pull all of the tables out and sweep under them with the little push sweeper. You all know what this is, yes? A vacuum without a cord. Every church, school, or company has had or does have one of these! He pulled out a table and then said,"No what?" "Sweep under it" I said. "How?" Mind you, he has the sweeper IN HIS HAND. I make the motion of vacuuming and say" Like that." Good grief.
Anyways, all new kids start out dumb as rocks. Some either grow out of it, or they stay a rock. So, I tell a girl who works there,"This new kid is dumb as rocks." She couldn't hear me so I had to repeat it like 4 times before she got it. Then she says,"Uh, that's my brother." Insert face palm. Let's dig my hole deeper, shall we? I replied,"Really? Well, he's dumb as rocks." GOOD FREAKING GRIEF. What was I thinking?!  Who says that right to someones face!? Well, I do. I figured it was better than trying to back peddle. So, now I just have to deal with the results. Which is extreme awkwardness! Ughhh. Oh well. I'll deal with it. Hopefully this boy will prove me wrong and turn into a whip. But, if I'm right, he'll still be a rock. Oh. Let's top this off with the fact that his mother works there too. She is a manager. I am awesome, huh?
Anyways. I though you guys would like to hear about my week since I know you care oh so much! In any case! Thank you as always for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!! Love you!!


Sunday, June 24, 2012

Tantrums, Face-plants, and Vampires OH MY!

It has been way too long since my last post! Oh, I have been dreaming of posting something new for a very long time! I've had ample opportunity, but a few things have been dominating my attentions. Don't worry! I'll share with you what they are! Some are sad, some are hysterical (you will judge me), and some are just exhausting. So! I'll start where anyone should! The beginning!
Anyone who knows me, knows I love my family. I disagree with them at times, but they mean the world to me! I wouldn't ask for a different one. Well, sometimes I would ask for an exchange or refund. But, most of the time I wouldn't! One of the occasions I would have asked for a refund and refused my service ever again was a couple of weeks ago. The walls at my house are very VERY thin. You can whisper something and the person in the room next to you can hear it. Well, my brother had gone to Virginia for 2 months which I couldn't have been happier about. He came home early. That was devastating. He has a temper. He has an ego. So you can see why this is a problem.
One day, he decided to turn his music up very very loudly. It's not a type of music that people want to listen to all the time. Unless you're him of course. I had already been to work that day (it was my 6 a.m. shift so I was home by 11). And I've been sick off and on for the last couple of months. So, when I came home, all I wanted to do was sleep. I was doing absolutely fine with that plan until my sister came down the stairs screaming and yelling, pounding on something! Then she yelled to me,"SIDNEY! DO YOU HEAR THAT?!" I said, "I'm trying to sleeeeeep!" But, when my sister is upset, I have to help. She told me how she had sent a text to my brother asking him to turn down his music. He put the speakers over the air vent (which is right over her room) and turned it up louder. So she went up and told him to turn it off. He wouldn't.
Let me tell you: tired and vengeful are not a good combination. I was shaking when I went upstairs to tell him to turn it down. It's such a simple request! I did NOT understand why he had to be such a jerk about it! He wouldn't listen to me either. So I went to the power box and turned the power to his room off. He got smart and went into my parents room and turned it up again. So I got smart and turned theirs off too. He got pissed this time. He stormed down the stairs. I had myself braced at the bottom arms in front of my chest, ready to block him from coming down anymore. He was having none of that. He shoved me hard against the wall and almost knocked down one of the blessing dresses of mine and my sisters from off the wall. (Not an easy fix).
I stepped in front of him again and he pushed me hard again. So, we all ran to the power box and my sister and I tried to hold it closed while he pushed her and he elbowed me. All the while, we're screaming at him to just keep his music down! That he's not the only person living in this house! How he should be considerate of everyone else living there. Well, after he'd pushed me over and over, he turned and grabbed my arms really hard and started yelling in my face," YOU'RE SO LAZY! GET UP AND DO SOMETHING! GO EXERCISE!" He pushed me again. My sister and I gave up and he turned it back on then went upstairs. We were both fuming! So, we continued our discussion about our brother who was telling us WE were lazy when he himself had no job, and had spent the last 3 days playing Mario on the Wii. He came back downstairs and we said for him to just go upstairs and how we didn't even want to see him. Being the ass that he is, he said," Well you guys should just get out of bed! It's 1 in the afternoon!" I told him, "I already went to work today! I'm tired! I want a nap! I don't want to see you! You pushed me! You're NOT supposed to do that to your sister!!" His reply was this: "That's what you do when someones in your way Sid. You push them. Especially when it's a fat ass like you."
I have NEVER screamed that loud in my life. I punched him in the arm twice and chased him up the stairs, yelling that he's worthless and crap the entire time. Then I started crying. I hate crying. It's noisy and I do not look cute crying!
Anyways, after that I wanted nothing more than to leave.  I was going to be house sitting that weekend so I just needed to leave until then. I looked at hotel rooms and decided I couldn't afford to pay for one, even for a few days. Luckily, the person I was house sitting for read her itinerary wrong and I got to come up a day early!
Those 10 days were the most blissful days. I was by myself. I got to sleep! Nobody was yelling at me or telling me to do something. Of course, the most exciting thing was I got to be away from my brother. With that, we'll go to reason-I-haven't-blogged number 2!
Like I said! I was by myself for 10 days! That wasn't something I minded. But, by the 4th day, I was getting bored of everything I was doing. So! I signed up for one of the most awful sites ever.  Plenty of Fish. It's a dating website if the name isn't clear enough. But! based on my brothers comments and being alone, I figured, eh, stupid guys telling me I'm hot? I could deal with the confidence boost.
Let me tell you. Online dating isn't something that I support. There are too many people who lie, and too many people pretending that they're one thing only to turn out and be other completely different person. Still! Bored! Besides, you can only watch Vampire Diaries so many times before you have to do something else WHILE watching it! I love that show. You all know that. Anyways, so this website has been my entertainment for the last few weeks. You can meet some decent people though it's nothing something to base a relationship off of.  Though, that's how my sister and her fiance met so whatever.
The other reason I haven't blogged is because I'm now doing two jobs again. I honestly don't remember if I mentioned that in my last blog. But! I am! I'm working at Target still, and also at the oh so glamorous Arby's. I must REALLY love wearing red. But! While I was house sitting, I took time off from Arby's because the drive was too far. The sad thing is my paycheck is going to be really REALLY small because I didn't work there again this week. Bad news. Oh well though. I'll make it.
Now, I believe I've told everyone these two stories already, but if I haven't I want to recap! I have a lovely scrape on my foot and a HUGE bruise on my butt from falling! What was the cause of these falls you ask?! Bugs. The one on my foot was caused by a bee! I was running for my life from one and I tripped on a step and fell FLAT on my face! The one on my butt is from falling in the shower because a SPIDER was right next to me! I totally slipped and hit my butt on the knob that turns the water on. Man that one hurt. I thought I was going to throw up! Funny though!
Well! That is all for tonight! But! Don't worry! I'll post sooner this time! I won't wait more than a month for the next one! I'll have to tell you all about the wedding plans for my sister! (Her fiance is joining the Navy so they moved their wedding up to September of this year. BTW SHE WENT DRESS SHOPPING WITHOUT ME!! I cried about that too. Who does that?!?! Goes shopping for their wedding dress without their twin sister?!?!) In any case! There will be more to come! I love you all!!