This week has been absolutely crazy. The last few days have been too much excitement for me to handle. I'm telling you. At this moment, I'm watching this show. (I am always watching shows, get used to it.) It's called Angel. I'm totally on a David Boreanaz kick and he happens to be the lead in this show. I just have to go off about this show for a minute. I like the story line, but it's a bit over played after the whole Twilight thing. Vampire who was a killer decides to be good and redeem himself by killing bad people or demons as the case may be. This is a familiar theme in Vampire Diaries as well, but that show kicks any other show's butt.
Of course it's vampire themed. I actually didn't realize it was about vampires until the horrid make up showed up. I was not intending to start another vampire show, but oh well. It happened. Since this show was on before Vampire Diaries and was well before Twilight, I've got to see what it is all about. Not to mention the whole Buffy the Vampire Slayer reference. Now I need to see what that show is all about. I was never able to watch that show since I was young and sheltered.I hear that it's great though. For a 90's show, right?
Now to the main point of this post tonight. Needless to say, I'm feeling a bit neglected. I probably shouldn't be posting this on my blog, but it is sort of like a journal for me to. A place that is safe for me to express my feelings and frustration among people who won't laugh at me. Not to mention, you can't reply right away that you think I'm stupid or dramatic. You just have to tell me on Facebook. And if you do that, I'll delete that comment and it will be like it never happened. But, since we are friends, you probably wouldn't do that anyways. If you did, we wouldn't be friends anymore and that would be a totally different story.
Well, we'll start with Saturday. Saturday was a fantastic day with adventures, delicious pizza, and good company. Last week, I made plans with my girl Kerisa! I really need a name for her since everyone on my blog seems to have a nick name. I'll have to come up with that another time. I'm really not going to go into too many details of that night, but in short, we went up to SLC with Twinner and Matt. Matt needs a nick name as well. We went to this little place called Huka Bar and Grill. That is normally a place I wouldn't attend. In fact, I probably will never go back. Except for the pizza. I had a margarita pizza there that was divine! Couldn't even take it. It was spicy, and greasy, and delicious. Mmm. Anyways. Hukas are not my thing at all. I don't smoke or drink. So bars are not my thing either. Still though. Grills are.
It was shaping up to be a pretty awesome night, until we got up there and there was that icky white stuff all over the roads, making nerves get a little knotted up. Then when we arrived, like instant karma, my phone fell from my lap and into snow/slush. All was well until I got into Huka and my touch screen stopped working. That was the first step into a downhill evening. Next step was the nasty girls that felt like they needed to dance like two cent gutter sluts on each other. That was not my favorite. There was one girl that was seriously grossing me out. Blah.. The worst part was the look on her face. She has this super... sexual look on her face.. I don't even have any way of describing it because it was so uniquely revolting.. It was fun a little later when the super hot DJ came up and started playing awesome songs so that everyone else started dancing. I was thankful to have my view blocked of that nasty sight. We even got up and danced too. I looked ridiculous. It was very embarrassing. So I sat back down after about a song and a half.
We decided to leave a little early because the snow was still coming down. I went and stayed at Kerisa's place and it was a blast! We laughed at some more girls making a show in front of some boys, and then falling right on their backs because of the ice. Good times. I went to sleep pretty soon after that because the smoke and the music up at Huka were really intense and gave me the mother of all headaches.
Sunday was going to be an eventful day. Kerisa and I went to church which was lovely. I was supposed to go to two homecomings, which I missed. Then, I was supposed to go to a birthday party for the Fighting Irish and Professor of the Dark Arts. I missed that too. Which was a shame because I heard that it was quite fun. I ended up staying up at my grandparents house that night. Talking to them and watching TV with them was really nice.
So, keep in mind that my phone has been broken since saturday evening. Which is super lame. My sister filed a claim on it so I could get a new one. So, Monday goes by. No phone. Now today is Tuesday. I actually had the day off so I could wait for the phone to show up. Well, it got here, and I was very very excited. I had no reason to be. They sent the wrong battery. So, I can't even use it. I had to file another claim. Now, I have to wait until tomorrow to get (hopefully) the right battery. I can't even get to it until 9 since I work all day. Dang it. Gosh.
Having to not have a phone for 5 days is really REALLY getting to me. I can't call anyone if I need to find something out. I can't text anyone when I'm in an awkward moment. And (in my neurotic case) I can't even call anyone if I get into an accident!
I was really fired up about this earlier in the day, but was relaxed a couple of hours later. But, my mother dearest has made that mood flare right on up again. Yes, parents are supposed to piss you off. Above that though, parents are supposed to support you. Make you feel good about yourself. Not tell you that you sound crazy. No. That is was friends are for. Man, my heart hurts. I just wanted ONE person to say that I am justified to be really annoyed that someone was an idiot when they packed that package with the wrong product. And I got it from a completely random source. Matt. I just need to hear, " Yeah! They probably were smoking crack! How the heck did they mess that up!?" I wanted that from my family. I guess I sort of did get it. Matt is my brother in law. Twinner eventually got on the bandwagon. So that was nice.
I promise, this is not just about the phone and stuff. But, I feel like any time I get passionate about something, I get shot down with a shake of the head and rolling of the eyes. I can't handle it anymore. I just need someone to support me like a good bra. I know I get angry, and overly so, but I calm down pretty quickly if you just tell me that I'm right to be angry. At this point, I now don't feel special at all. I have absolutely nothing to offer. Except some laughter here and there. I can at least offer that.
Siiiiiigh. This took a depressing down turn, didn't it? On a happy note, New Girl will be on in less than 10 minutes. So, I'm going to switch shows and do what couch potatoes do, and fuse my rear end to the couch. Once again, I love my friends that read this. I love being able to write for someone! One of these days, I'm going to be a famous author, with dozens of best sellers, and I will not forget to thank all of you guys that stuck with me for the last 8 months. Your encouragement is what keeps me writing, and I can't wait until I can write for the world!
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Naive. Disclaimer: Parental Supervision Advised
"Such an ugly word for something so beautiful." These words are totally on my mind tonight. Along with the word in the title. Naivety. This is a word I would have used years and years ago to describe myself. I never would have used that word now days. At least not for myself. That word is reserved for children and really idiotic high school students. (I was once an idiotic high school student. And ironically enough this has something to do with it..I'll get there.) This particular blog entry seems to need a little back ground story to it. So I'll give you a brief one.
When I was 16 or 17, I was working at the fabulous Red Robin (yuuuum!) as a hospitality crew member. Gotta love it. At the time, a social website called Tagged was very very popular. Or maybe it was Myspace? Either way! Both of them were very popular at some point so it doesn't really matter. Anyways, a boy started chatting with me and we had been talking for quite a while maybe 8 months. We'd never met or anything. However, there was a 2 month period where we didn't speak at all. And one day, I actually got a text from him. Mind you, my phone was so old school, it didn't say if it was a picture message or a text. Well, it was a photo. An obscene photo of something... and I am scarred for life because of this. I was actually at work when I received this photo. I literally screamed and closed the photo. I shook my head because I assumed that was a joke. I mean, I've seen 10 Things I Hate About You. I know the trick. Turns out I asked another person if that was REALLY what I was looking at. They screamed and said YES!!!
I'll tell you what I did. I sent a text to that boy and said," What the H*LL was that?!" He told me he thought I would like it. I told him there was NO way I wanted to see that ever! I told him it was disgusting, and that he was no longer allowed to text me. It ended there.
Now, I know this is getting a little...well..taboo, but I kind of need to get this out. Anybody that has seen the awful set up of a man knows that there is nothing remotely attractive about it. I don't even CARE what you say. It is DISGUSTING. My aversion to it may have something to do with the whole photo-bomb, but honestly, I doubt it. It's not pretty.
Well, since then I have unfortunately still had them pop up in places that they really shouldn't. I'm not desensitized to this, but I have become a little less sensitive. Or at least I thought I had until tonight. There was someone in my past from my Red Robin (yuuuum!) days that I liked a LOT. This person was my abrupt change from my usual R.M. type. Straight laced. Clean cut. This boy was the complete opposite. I can't keep calling him "this person". He needs a nick-name. I'm going to call him Sailor because of one of his tattoos. So, Sailor was exactly like the title. Smoker, drinks like one, talks like one, and was in a band. (Not that sailors are in bands all of the time. Unless it's the Little Mermaid. Then they're opera singers.)
Sailor was very VERY sweet to me. This was the middle of my rebel phase, not to be confused with my emo phase. He knew that I liked him a lot. I was never secretive about it. Oh! Flashback! He had this little ponytail that I thought was adorable. (He wore it up for work.) But when he cut his hair, mmm mmm good.
It's been years since we have really talked. We kind of drifted apart when he told me he wouldn't go out with me because I was too innocent and he didn't want to ruin that. He said it was sweet and what not. I respected that decision and moved on. Though technically at the time I was waiting for a missionary. (THAT FREAKING BUM.)
Tonight he decided to come waltzing back into my life. I was okay with that. Mr. Intriguing has been distance and all of that jazz. (G-Money, I know you're shaking your head right now so knock it off!) Basically it comes down to the fact that I am bored and Sailor is exciting. He was everything that I knew I shouldn't want but did anyways. We were talking and I had mentioned how I hate getting those surprise pictures. Well, there go my corneas. I got one of those surprise pictures. Oh my gosh. I just.. my brain absolutely went. Went where?? WHO FREAKING KNOWS. Just absolutely left me. I had no words. I deleted every thread of conversation that I had in my phone because in order to just delete one thread, I have to go into that conversation. I was NOT about to go looking at that again. So now, I've lost a few important numbers and what not because I'm trying to save my semi-virgin eyes. Needless to say, things got awkward and the conversation ended abruptly.
How does naivety come into play? Let me just say I haven't technically considered myself a "goody two shoes" for a while. I felt like I knew enough and had heard enough, seen enough to discard that title. No. I'm not. I assumed if you mention to a man, a sailor or not, that when you say you don't like something, that they listen to you and respect you. That was issue number one. Issue number two was thinking that switching to an old track of life, that didn't work in the first place would be a good idea. There are reasons that things go they way they do. I suppose some part of me thinks that I missed a shot back in the day with someone important. However, I think the person I'm thinking of walked away from me. And there is absolutely NOTHING I can to to bring this person back. I guess I don't listen to me when I tell myself to face the music and just let it go. Maybe I need a slap in the face for that to actually sink in. My last mistake was thinking I had nothing else to learn. Life doesn't just throw all of it's lessons at you at one time. This all happens and a gradual pace and when you're actually ready to learn that lesson.After tonight, I've learned I am nowhere near educated enough to remove the 'naive' title from my name. I mean honestly, how much can you actually know about life and love when you're working all the time, hardly dating (unless you're going out with Creeper), and you've never been kissed?? Answer? Nothing.
So, over the course of the rest of this year, and the next I'll be challenging myself to step out of my box. Out of my comfort zone and into places that force me to branch ant and become educated in life's lessons. This is a very nerve-wracking choice, but I'm hoping it will be one for the record books. At least my record books.
Well! That is all for an evening of spending time in my blogesphere. Once again! I love to just thank my friends who read this faithfully (G-Money especially for begging me to write more! It give me purpose!) and to the couple members of my family who read this when they've already heard the story! Bless you all! And bless me that I don't get photo-bombed again for many MANY years to come! Love you all!
When I was 16 or 17, I was working at the fabulous Red Robin (yuuuum!) as a hospitality crew member. Gotta love it. At the time, a social website called Tagged was very very popular. Or maybe it was Myspace? Either way! Both of them were very popular at some point so it doesn't really matter. Anyways, a boy started chatting with me and we had been talking for quite a while maybe 8 months. We'd never met or anything. However, there was a 2 month period where we didn't speak at all. And one day, I actually got a text from him. Mind you, my phone was so old school, it didn't say if it was a picture message or a text. Well, it was a photo. An obscene photo of something... and I am scarred for life because of this. I was actually at work when I received this photo. I literally screamed and closed the photo. I shook my head because I assumed that was a joke. I mean, I've seen 10 Things I Hate About You. I know the trick. Turns out I asked another person if that was REALLY what I was looking at. They screamed and said YES!!!
I'll tell you what I did. I sent a text to that boy and said," What the H*LL was that?!" He told me he thought I would like it. I told him there was NO way I wanted to see that ever! I told him it was disgusting, and that he was no longer allowed to text me. It ended there.
Now, I know this is getting a little...well..taboo, but I kind of need to get this out. Anybody that has seen the awful set up of a man knows that there is nothing remotely attractive about it. I don't even CARE what you say. It is DISGUSTING. My aversion to it may have something to do with the whole photo-bomb, but honestly, I doubt it. It's not pretty.
Well, since then I have unfortunately still had them pop up in places that they really shouldn't. I'm not desensitized to this, but I have become a little less sensitive. Or at least I thought I had until tonight. There was someone in my past from my Red Robin (yuuuum!) days that I liked a LOT. This person was my abrupt change from my usual R.M. type. Straight laced. Clean cut. This boy was the complete opposite. I can't keep calling him "this person". He needs a nick-name. I'm going to call him Sailor because of one of his tattoos. So, Sailor was exactly like the title. Smoker, drinks like one, talks like one, and was in a band. (Not that sailors are in bands all of the time. Unless it's the Little Mermaid. Then they're opera singers.)
Sailor was very VERY sweet to me. This was the middle of my rebel phase, not to be confused with my emo phase. He knew that I liked him a lot. I was never secretive about it. Oh! Flashback! He had this little ponytail that I thought was adorable. (He wore it up for work.) But when he cut his hair, mmm mmm good.
It's been years since we have really talked. We kind of drifted apart when he told me he wouldn't go out with me because I was too innocent and he didn't want to ruin that. He said it was sweet and what not. I respected that decision and moved on. Though technically at the time I was waiting for a missionary. (THAT FREAKING BUM.)
Tonight he decided to come waltzing back into my life. I was okay with that. Mr. Intriguing has been distance and all of that jazz. (G-Money, I know you're shaking your head right now so knock it off!) Basically it comes down to the fact that I am bored and Sailor is exciting. He was everything that I knew I shouldn't want but did anyways. We were talking and I had mentioned how I hate getting those surprise pictures. Well, there go my corneas. I got one of those surprise pictures. Oh my gosh. I just.. my brain absolutely went. Went where?? WHO FREAKING KNOWS. Just absolutely left me. I had no words. I deleted every thread of conversation that I had in my phone because in order to just delete one thread, I have to go into that conversation. I was NOT about to go looking at that again. So now, I've lost a few important numbers and what not because I'm trying to save my semi-virgin eyes. Needless to say, things got awkward and the conversation ended abruptly.
How does naivety come into play? Let me just say I haven't technically considered myself a "goody two shoes" for a while. I felt like I knew enough and had heard enough, seen enough to discard that title. No. I'm not. I assumed if you mention to a man, a sailor or not, that when you say you don't like something, that they listen to you and respect you. That was issue number one. Issue number two was thinking that switching to an old track of life, that didn't work in the first place would be a good idea. There are reasons that things go they way they do. I suppose some part of me thinks that I missed a shot back in the day with someone important. However, I think the person I'm thinking of walked away from me. And there is absolutely NOTHING I can to to bring this person back. I guess I don't listen to me when I tell myself to face the music and just let it go. Maybe I need a slap in the face for that to actually sink in. My last mistake was thinking I had nothing else to learn. Life doesn't just throw all of it's lessons at you at one time. This all happens and a gradual pace and when you're actually ready to learn that lesson.After tonight, I've learned I am nowhere near educated enough to remove the 'naive' title from my name. I mean honestly, how much can you actually know about life and love when you're working all the time, hardly dating (unless you're going out with Creeper), and you've never been kissed?? Answer? Nothing.
So, over the course of the rest of this year, and the next I'll be challenging myself to step out of my box. Out of my comfort zone and into places that force me to branch ant and become educated in life's lessons. This is a very nerve-wracking choice, but I'm hoping it will be one for the record books. At least my record books.
Well! That is all for an evening of spending time in my blogesphere. Once again! I love to just thank my friends who read this faithfully (G-Money especially for begging me to write more! It give me purpose!) and to the couple members of my family who read this when they've already heard the story! Bless you all! And bless me that I don't get photo-bombed again for many MANY years to come! Love you all!
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