Hey blog family! How are you all doing this lovely evening?? It's just about midnight here, so I am hoping to get this blog posted and done before 1 a.m. I've been doing amazingly well at going to bed before 2, and in most cases 1, and I would love to keep that up! So! I have had one thing especially burning on my mind. I swear, I am just about bubbling over. I don't know if this is a good thing, or a bad thing? More because it's a situation that I can't exactly control at this time.
Boys, you may want to avert your eyes. Or not. Whatever. But I miss Utah men. SO MUCH. LDS men in particular. They are so clean. Not just in appearance but in behavior as well. I think that is one of the things that appeals to people about our church. You can really tell who takes pride in their appearance, more than just the grooming aspect. Most of the guys out here seen with red solo cups, beer bottles, and cigarettes hanging out of their mouths.
Let me say this. I have dated both ends of the spectrum. So, I am not harboring a prejudice against it. But as my ladies from Target know, I tend to lean toward a clean cut man who takes care of his clothes, hair, and yes, even hands. Calluses are fine, but I don't really like having grease and oil stuck in the cracks to get all over me.
Plus, less guys in Utah have those stupid pictures of girls hanging all over them. That just makes you look slutty, guys. Only sluts look for other sluts. Which I guess is fine if that's what you're looking for. So! Back to the point. Utah/LDS men. They glow. I didn't understand that whole thing where people said that LDS members seems to glow. I do now, after seeing all the rough people out here. Good heavens, it's shocking.
And not that I don't have respect for those that are less fortunate, but even a lot of the members out here are lacking that light. That could just be all of the hard times that have befallen everyone now days, but there is something about it. Something about Utah. (Not Mary. No. Get it... ha!) Not to mention it's home.
Streets are numbered there. So you can find your way around so much easier! Here, your landmarks are "the big tree" or "the railroad tracks". I honestly have not been able to get my sense of direction since I landed here! At home, I could tell which way was north! Here, I have no idea what direction I am facing! And yes, I look at the sun! But that really only helps when it's earlier in the morning, or later at night.
Also, the environment is so different. Sometimes, it's really unsettling. I've heard warnings about different parts of the state where it's really rough, and you need to be super careful to not get yourself into trouble. Utah? You have West Valley to worry about. Maybe a couple other cities, but really, that's about it. Here, I'm just on the "good side of town". Any farther down the road, and we would be in the projects where it isn't safe to walk to your mailbox alone. People also take guns with them wherever they go.
I am not one to go against guns. I think people should own them. People kill people WITH guns. Guns just don't go shoot people of their own accord. Still. The fact that we need to worry about crazy people coming at us all puffed up, to the point where we need to have a gun at all time, that is scary. The most you'll get there is flipped off. Sometimes shot. Sometimes.
Anyways. on the same sort of track, I have been thinking again about a few people who are like "Hello! We talked 5 years ago, but we don't talk anymore. I'm coming back into your life. How do you feel about that?" Let me tell you how I feel about that. I feel like there are people who just want to be loved by all people. That really isn't a problem because everyone has a personality type. What IS a problem, is those people tend to be very self centered. They want to take take take all day long, and give nothing back. They're like black holes.
What really drives me up the wall, is that I am the (stupid) personality type that puts too much faith in people. I expect honesty from them, because I give it. I expect openness because I share it. That very rarely happens. Those people are too busy coming up with the next "thing" to hook their "friends" into asking them about their lives so they can gush about themselves. I know. I have this blog. I talk about myself in them. But guess what? It's my blog, I can do what I want. And do I leave you having with tag lines like," I fell in love again. My heart is broken, and I can't believe you did that." No. I'm pretty sure I am spewing all details (however unwanted) left and right so that you don't have to guess. Except for names. I do that mostly to protect my friends. I want attention just like anyone else, but I am not desperate to have it. I have friends and family who I love very much, and I can call them and chat whenever I want. Plus, I have awesome Bestie out here who I LOVE to death! She is fantastic. She knows it! (Go on, brush your shoulders off!)
As for male attention, there is none out here that I am currently seeking, and none back in Utah waiting for me. I do have a problem that I tend to fall completely for people so quickly, and it isn't something I can get over quickly. It took me years to get over the missionary. And I am still working on getting over a couple. Both of them are on the cocky side. ( Which that is totally my fault for liking that kind of thing. What can I say? Confidence gets me.) They both are pretty good looking. (Another weakness, so sue me.) One likes to yank me around like a yo-yo. The other? Ignores me entirely. I can't think of nicknames for them by themselves, so they are now "the terrible two". Such fun. And I fall for that every time! Except the missionary. He was different. Actually, now that I think about it, after he decided to just walk away, I started dating different guys. So basically, this is his fault. (It makes me feel better to place blame.) Now that I am older and I know kind of what I want, I've been having a hard time finding it. My standards are high again. Not that I super lowered them, but the last time I did, I got boob grabbed and slobbered on. So, I don't want to do that again.
That I think is all I have tonight. Except for the tragic passing of cute little Nemo. I had a feeling he was going to die because he couldn't stand up by himself. Any time he did, he fell over and just lay there like he was already dead. I held him today for about 10 minutes, maybe a few longer. He was so scared. All shaking and what not. He eventually calmed down and and took a short (really short) snooze. I wanted to keep him separated from Judas and Iago, (the two that are alive and killed him) because I saw they were being mean to him, but that didn't happen. We don't have the other cage set up. But, Nemo is passed, and buried in the woods. I guess my uncle didn't want to tell me, so my aunt did. So sad. (That's actually funnier if you had been out here with me for the first month.)
And! I want to leave you with a recommendation! If you like the period piece dramas like Jane Eyre, North & South, Pride & Prejudice, and etc..., check out The Paradise on Netflix. This is excellent! The story has held me really well, and I loved the actors/actresses in it! Beautifully done! Also, don't raise pheasants.
I love you all! Sleep tight! <3
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