Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Another Dating Tale of Woe

Me oh my. What a busy couple weeks this has been. I'm officially back in Utah. (Woo.) This is a happy thing, and also depressing as well. I miss Virginia. I miss my friends and family out there. I miss the amazing thunderstorms, and all the bright colors you can find in the animals or plants. I miss how the "traffic" out there is like, 6 cars. Seriously, getting home from the airport almost stopped my heart because I had forgotten what it was like to have one million other cars on the road with you. Even still, I find myself pushing the invisible breaks wherever I'm sitting.
However, being back has had a couple of advantages. One. My family. I love my family, and it's nice to be near them again. Two. I was offered a job already, and I had only been back a week and a half. Three. I'll have a car soon. Car=freedom. I'm a little sad though, because I haven't seen any of my friends. I did see my auntie, and cousins which was really nice! Followed by a pretty awesome pool party at the neighbors house! That was a blast, and we have some really really fun, sweet neighbors.
But, that is not exactly what I am going to blog about tonight. I know that I always tell you my misfortunes in dating. (I always say misfortune like they do in Pride and Prejudice. I don't know why, but that's how I hear it in my head."Oh yes, his misfortunes have been great." Someone name who says that line, and I'll send you a virtual high five.) Tonight though, I had the keen and unpleasant fortune to talk to a guy. A guy who said he's LDS. Well, I'm assuming he is NOT active based on the way that the conversation went. And you know, that's cool. I mean, you don't HAVE to be LDS for me to date you. Just be respectful of my religion and beliefs and I will show you the same courtesy.
*Reader discretion advised!! There is some mature content*
So, this guy had asked me a question. He had asked me if I was "innocent". Well anyone who knows me can answer this question. Yes. Yes I am. I cried after my first kiss for goodness sake. Grated, it wasn't just kissing that happened, but still. The statement holds true. I told him, yes. I have been kissed once, which I wasn't a fan of, and I have drank once. (I know, hold your shock in. I'm sorry to disappoint you. I AM NOT PERFECT.)
He laughed and asked if I had ever give a "handy". I changed the word because I think it's gross. I told him no. And that I have an aversion to the male organ right now because stupid boys keep thinking I want to see it, and they send me pictures. And before any of you guys get ideas in saying,"Oh you must have asked for it, or done something to make it be sent." You take that back. I have never in my life asked, implied or inferred about seeing a penis. The first time that happened to me, I was 17 and working at Red Robin. That was before your phone showed you the picture before opening it. I screamed, and asked the guy why in the heck he thought I wanted to see it. We stopped talking after that. And it's happened numerous times since then.
Back to the story. I told him briefly that I didn't enjoy that first kiss because the guy was grabbing at parts and trying to get his hands in places they shouldn't have been. And I apologize, this part is going to be TMI for you guys, so feel free to skip forward. He asked why I didn't like being groped. (I put it delicately.) I told him that because it was my first kiss, and I was so frazzled, I couldn't even think about it until later. But, that I'm sure if you're with the right person, that I can see how it could be enjoyable. (I know. I'm sorry.) Guys, I really REALLY hate looking back on that night. So much. So so so so much.
This guy then proceeds to say that he wishes girls were more.. sexually aggressive. Like that we would send nude pictures. And then said," because girls out here don't do that!" Well duh. This is a majority of LDS culture. And guess what? Girls who send pictures of their boobs can wind up on the internet, because they accidentally sent it to their dad! Or, maybe they just like showing off their boobs. I don't know.
I just told the guy that I don't know any girl who requests those pictures (though apparently there are some?) but if there are, then there are plenty of girls out there willing to just give out handies. That is where the conversation ended.
Now. I knew that guys go for the slutty girls because they hope to get lucky and what not. That was always just subtext though. Something that was never really said out loud in an actual discussion. But this is the first time I have ever had a guy seriously tell me that he wishes girls were easier. That we craved sexual things as much as them. Ladies. I know we do. But we are LADIES. We have to have more respect for ourselves because if you don't, no one else will. You are more than just enjoyment for some guy. You are a person. And you know what, if you want to be known for sleeping around, flashing your ta ta's, and never want any ounce of respect.. then that's on YOU. Behave how you want to be treated. Some guys aren't always going to listen, but you can hold your head high knowing it was their bad decision to try to take advantage of you. No girl "asks for it" unless they physically ask for it. If you're even in a position where someone took advantage of you, get help. Find a friend, parent, sibling, someone you can trust, to talk to. Nobody needs to go through that alone.
That got heavy huh. That's pretty much the end of my rant for the evening, but I did want to compile a little list here at the end with all of the guys I've dated! Not names, but titles because there were 2 guys I forgot I had gone out with, and man they were doozies. Let's face it. They all are. I have bad luck.
Lets see.. The onion guy who wore no shoes.. Mr. Money bags.. Mouth Breather.. Guy who asked to date my friend right after our date.. oh! the short guy at the jamba juice.. guy that took me to taco bell.. Guy who I didn't date, but he followed me around at work one night.. guy who asked me out on a LOT of dates, who I eventually said yes to but got sick the night we were supposed to go out.. other guy that asked me out, and I told him I was on my period (which was true) so I didn't feel like going out.. and.. I think those are all.. just the bad ones of course. I had some good ones. Mini golfing. Comedy sportz. 4 wheeling and fishing. Driving on old country back roads. Best first date ever to the movies and ice cream.. and that's all the good ones. *face palm*
Alright online people. Have a lovely evening. Remember to keep your ta ta's covered. And if you're a boy, you can ignore that..



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