Birthday Blues

Oh my goodness, it has been far too long since my last post. I have been far, far too busy dealing with backroom trolls and grumpy people, birthday plans, and trying to get Sirius Black on the road. He is being difficult, and so is the bank! They were supposed to call me back yesterday, and I have yet to hear from them!! I just don't understand. It is very important, the things the people who work at backs do, and when someone calls, they should call back. This is all I'm saying. It's very frustrating.
As you notice, this blog post is called Birthday Blues. Yes, this is true. I have the blues that only comes around your birthday. No, I'm not having a midlife crisis or freaking out about my age, but it is more about the past. This is not the direction that anybody should be looking in when their birthday is approaching. At least, not at 21. No sir-ee. But, things have changed so much over the last year. Well, I used  to have friends over for a movie at least. I would bake a VERY misshapen cake, and we would laugh, blow out the candles, and Voila! Happy Birthday! Not to mention I have a very awesome twin and cousin that I get to share this wonderful day with! Back in those days, I would request the day before, of, and after my birthday off just so I could hang out with my friends the entire time. Not this year though. I'm going to work, which isn't awful at all because I get to hang out with my pricing girls, Kat Kat, T-bone, G-Money, Dee-stroyer, and our Fearless Leader. Though I'm not very close to these girls, they've become a few of the most important people. It's nice to look forward to seeing people every day, knowing there are friendly faces and sarcastic comments awaiting you. It's a nice thing to look forward to. But, there were different things to look forward to way back when. Midnight phone calls from friends saying "IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY!! Now, was I the first to tell you?!" It's things like this that make me want to go back and do my entire life over again. Choose different friends who stick by my side, or just not put all of my eggs in one basket with one friend, ignoring all of the other really great friends I had and under appreciated. Oh, how stupid the things we do.
I feel like I always have to say this because I get into a funk and feel like I'm discrediting the friends that I have now that I love dearly and would sail the earth for. (Which is impressive because I hate boats.) Times are different. We're older. Some of you are married, others engaged, and the rest dating someone seriously. Our priorities are different now. We worry about car payments, insurance, phone bills, rent. We don't worry about birthdays unless they're our own, or our significant others. Which is very depressing. If only, life were simpler like it was back then. Cakes, ice cream, movies, easy things you know? At this point in time, even celebrating something as exciting as my 21st birthday, I'm not having a party? Why you may ask? Because of the reasons stated above. Throw in that all of my friends have jobs and DING DING DING we have a winner. There a few that I think would make it and I love you for it. So much! Though, since nothing is set in stone, things could still change, right?
I am very frustrated about something at the moment. It will brief, I swear! You know how you grow up learning that 'Sharing is Caring'? I believe in that very much so.  But, there are a few things I cannot share even if my life depended on it. My number one? My books. My books are my life. I have invested too much time and money to loan them out and have them returned destroyed or not returned at all. I'm very selective to who I loan them out to, if at all. The next thing, is my scrapbooking stuff. My paper (which can't actually be borrowed), paint, (which is also not borrowed), paint brushes (which can sometimes be borrowed, depending on the brush). You see my point? These are things that if you 'lend out' you don't get back. You just lose it. Poof. Gone.
Now, I try to share my things. I'm selfish enough about myself, so worldly things shouldn't be part of that equation. But, once you've asked to borrow something from my two important lists, I will usually say no. You can't say no to family, right? Or you're suddenly even more selfish. It doesn't matter how many other things you've said yes to, that one NO is like dynamite. It blows everything else out of the water. So, then you get that feeling like you don't have the choice to say no. This is the same feeling you get at work when someone who is not your boss asks you to do something. No matter how much you want to shove it in their face and say HAHAHAHA no, you can't.. and that is something I loathe! Grr. Okay, venting over.
That I think is it for the evening. Though I do have shout out to a special person whom I adore. Father of my two children who are Lucian Atem Gerber McClain the second and Kezlin Rae Gerber McClain, you are my hero! You are such a strong man and I love you to bits! Let me know if you need a delicious ear and I will find one just for you! Or if you just need a Pokemon buddy (I want to start from the very beginning by the way!) then I am your woman! You are brave! You are strong! You are amazing! Don't you ever forget it okay?!
Goodnight my followers! As always, thank you for lending your eyes!