Boyfriends. Best Friends. Overstated Titles That We All Can't Live Without

Oh how time flies when you're wasting your time. Wasting? What do I mean by this? Ironically, it's another W word. Work. I know, I know. We all get paid to go and bust our butts for barely over minimum wage for 9 hours a day, and a thirty minute lunch that we have to pay for. ( Unless they decide to donate out of date or almost out of date food.. Or it's Thirsty Thursday. Which means there is only beverages, but that's one less thing to buy.) One day, we'll give up work and go back to a bartering system where all is fair and just. Sigh. Only in Utopia. Anyways, now you know why I'm so delayed with my communications.
As you can see by my title, I've been mulling over the titles that we give people in order to establish a certain type of relationship. We have our "besties" to whom we tell our darkest, deepest secrets. Like where we buried the body of our ex. Or who we call when we have a broken heart, a new joke, or had one of the best days of our life. Someone to scream and metaphorically jump around with. In any case. These titles, these words seem to make our life infinitely better, or crush it in an instant. How is this possible? How can the fact that we don't have a boyfriend, or lost our best friend have such a huge impact on our lives?? Maybe this is something that we inadvertently learn in grade school, or maybe it's before that, what with sibling rivalry. In any case, I've been really struggling with this.
I had a best best best friend. I think that growing up with a best friend got me attached to that idea of having one. Sure, you can still confide in people. But there is something about the bond that comes with the title of life long friends. I am not sure what it is, but you get a bond that is almost like sisters. Sometimes, even when you have a sister but your bond isn't that tight, then you worry about telling them things because it might just get back to your parents. You can't have that. When you get older though, things either get better or worse. You either stay friends as you move through your college life, heading in to married life and so on or you don't. I think that is the true test of friendship right there.
My best friend and I have bridged a gap. Granted, I put the gap there in the first place. I have this problem. Confession time! I get jealous. But it's only about one specific thing and that is when my friends have a serious boyfriend. See?? There is that title again. I usually don't care as long as I'm out dating people, but when I'm at home most of the time or at work and don't get asked out, or don't have time to go out, I get so frustrated because I depend on my friends to find entertainment. Only because when they have a boyfriend, that is all they want to talk about and all they can focus on. It gets very frustrating. In any case, when my friend got married, she couldn't do anything without her husband. Honestly, she still can't. If you've ever seen that episode of How I Met Your Mother when they talk about being "we" people, then you see her relationship. It still tap dances on my nerves, but as long as we're just talking on the phone, we can have a conversation with just us. Though I was just informed this week that he is privy to all of our conversations. Humph.
In any case. To shorten this little rant, I just wanted to say that I miss having a best friend. Most of the time, I can be the best friend you've ever had. I will buy you lunch or answer my phone in the middle of the night if you need someone to talk to. But, I don't have friends like that.. I have an awesome sister who I love and she would do almost anything for me. I also have a fabulous cousin! Though, she has a child and I cannot justify calling her in the middle of the night. Though I will shoot her a text! ( Love you guurrrl!) In any case, I have some great friends to hang out with, but I feel like I'm lacking that emotional connection. Must be a trust issue or something.
Nextly, we have the title of boyfriend. This one is a big one for me. All of my friends and family know that I have yet to smooch someone. I'm so picky about this because I want it to mean something. So whenever I go out, my guard is up.. Like all the way up to the heavens. Well, I'm going to drop a bombshell. I met Mr. Intriguing. And I let my guard down completely. That is a huge step for me. I'm absolutely NOT going into details here. But, there is a reason I've tried to avoid this sort of contact because I know how other people handle it. It's something that you almost crave. Something you want more and more once you've had it once. Most people get this out of their system earlier in life than me. Waiting this long, I have had a lot of time to think about it, hear people talk about. See it in movies. All of that stuff. So, when I took the small, though decisive step that I did, it was probably not well thought out.
Any guy I actually like and want to have the more physical relationship with moves on very very quickly. Mr. I. has two jobs and is going to school. So it is understandable that he is very busy. Though, in my opinion, if you really like someone, you're going to figure out a way to say hello or have some sort of contact. I guess I hear from him once a day. Around midnight. Needless to say, the flirting stopped. The cute little texts. All of that is on hold. I am absolutely sure I didn't misread that evening. School started the next day, so it is very very possible he is just too busy. But you know us girls. We over-think everything and turn nothing into something. So after this little freeze-out experience, I just want to go back to my not dating thing. I have a big heart, and I tend to give everything I have to everyone I know. But, I can't do it anymore until it's returned. Either with friends or significant others. Gah.
Anyways. I think that is all of the pearls of negativity that I have in me tonight. I love you, my blog family!! I hope you're enjoying your week! TGIF (Tomorrow..)