The Journey

Hey blog family. I really felt like I needed to write this post. Yes, I know it's late. But, since I am currently at my night job, I have the time. So, many of you know that I work at a home for girls who have substance abuse problems. They are so young! It breaks my heart. I honestly don't know if I could handle what these girls are going through. Tonight is the first night I've really seen the girls awake. Well one girl. Obviously, I can't give you details of this girl. But tonight, one of the girls was up and crying. Usually, they're in bed when I get here, and completely asleep. I guess she got permission to sit out in the hall and write in her journal. When I went up to do my next round, she was still out there with tears streaming down her face. On my next, she was in her bed, and still crying. This sort of this is so sad to me.
Why? Well, obviously, it really is terrible to see these girls in pain. Also, you have to put yourself in their place. They really have nothing at this point. They've been taken from their families, homes, friends, and normal way of life. (Granted, they aren't making excellent decisions to get here, but it's still their routine.) They are placed in a house with a bunch of other girls who have similar problems and struggles, different challenges. All who, admittedly, have an attitude, and lets face it, girls butt heads. They have all of their choices taken away from them. Their entire day is now planned out for them, from the time they wake up, till when they go to bed. Their food is chosen every day. It's just.. so hard. I don't think I would be able to do it.
Some of these girls run. They take off, and go missing for a while, then when they are found, they can end up in DT or if they are lucky, they can come back to one of our programs at the Journey. They aren't always allowed back.
But, the fact that these girls are struggling with this sort of stuff just seems so unfair. I know, we all have our choices, but these trials are for these girls, that the Lord knew they would be able to handle. Unfortunately, these girls don't know that they can handle it. They have no idea how strong they actually are. It might take them years to find out. They might not ever find out. And they don't trust adults, or people enough to listen to their therapists or guides when they tell them. They can only go as far as they let themselves.
I really have always wanted to be in this line of work. I would really like to do this during the day so that I would be able to interact with the girls and help them more than just checking on them every once in a while to make sure they haven't run, or anything. I'm so grateful that I do get to help. That on nights like this, I can ask a girl if there is anything I can do to help. I can only do so much. I really can't talk much to her, but, I can have her sleep on the couch and I can keep her company. Be the silent moral support. I just wish that all of these girls knew they were in the same boat, and they could help each other by being kind. And supportive. And for some of these girls, it really does click! And they know they have the chance to get better, and they make the effort. And that is one of my favorite parts about this job.
As part of our training, we have to read a couple of books. I've been reading the one called "The Anatomy of Peace". If you ever have the chance to read this book, do it. It will absolutely change your life. To give you a brief over view, it's about how we can all have a more peaceful heart and life by looking at people AS people, and not objects. For example. When someone cuts you off, you have now labeled as a jerk. A jerk, isn't a person, you have now made them to be an object. And because they are an object, you are more prone to be rude and call names. Once their a person again, you approach them with humanity. Like I said, brief overview, but really, it is an amazing book.
Also. Keeping in line with that train of thought, you never know what's going on with people in their own lives. If everyone was living behind glass walls, we might understand each other better. But we don't. We have to keep in mind that maybe.. this person does something because they've had a traumatic experience. Maybe some sort of abuse, or loss. Unfortunately, life can knock us down, and it can do it in such a way that we can't think of anything else to do but act out. Drinking and drugs to dull pain. Suicide to escape it. Bullying people to lessen your hurt, by making someone else hurt. Maybe in that respect, they are trying to bring someone to their level, to know how miserable they are. Misery loves company after all, so maybe that is more of a cry for help. Nobody really knows.
What I do KNOW, and I feel it's true, is that we have to be more respectful of people as people. And you can't run around trying to fix everything and every one. First, look to yourself and see if maybe the problem is in yourself, not with who you're conflicting. Once you've established this, you can step outside of yourself, and your own head to think of the problem objectively instead of internalizing it and making it personal. Once you can step out of your "box" and see all angles of the issue, only then can you not only help fix a problem, but prevent future problems.
Anyways. I think I got out all I wanted to say. Really, I can't say this enough. If you get the chance to read this book, do it. And maybe read it once a year to keep it fresh in your mind. I know its principles pop into my head at the moments I need it the most. Right when I think I'm going to lose my cool, I'll remember to get outside of my head and my "box" and it immediately helps me calm down and think rationally. Gosh. This is too deep for 1:30 in the morning.. Anyways! I love you guys, and sweet dreams! Or good morning.. just depending on whenever you read this.