Just Because

Tonight, my brain is full of things. Brains are supposed to be full of things, I know. Tonight, my brain is muddled. Good word, huh? I wish I was the spoiled youngest child. But, no. I have to be an adult and have the bipolar 11 year old sister yell at me and then say "I like your shirt" in the same breath. Plus, her insane little friends trying to walk right into my parents house. What the heck is that about?? Good grief. Having a younger sibling that behaves like she does, is definitely part of the reason I don't live at home anymore. If I didn't have younger siblings, or siblings that could actually get along, I would probably still be at my parents. However, I like being on my own. I do have something I am bursting to say, but I can't say it yet. It is driving me crazy! Just 2 more weeks or so and then I can let all of you blog people in on a secret.
Like I mentioned before, I have a lot on my mind. I can't seem to organize it though. So instead, it is just swirling around my head like a swarm of bees. And guess what? I don't like bees. I will try to separate the creepy insects so I can get some peace.
One thing, I wish I was braver. Instead, I am trapped in my little box of insecurity. I tried to make a change. Last week, I actually initiated a date, which was weird. I don't usually do that. Though I don't like to do that, it was a little empowering. I had a really good week there where I was confident and felt comfortable in my skin. It's really strange how you can lose that so quickly. One day.. I am going to be brave. I'm going to be like.. "hey, boy. I think you're good looking. I am also quite good looking. We should go out." But, I have a feeling that it is still going to take a little bit longer.
Another thing, why does food have to make you get chubby, huh?? Why can't it just be all good for you and not make you turn strange shapes.
Why can't I say "Merry Christmas" to someone and not have someone freak out and say I'm insensitive because they are atheist?
Why can't I just get a job that I love?
Why do certain decisions have to be based on appearance?
Why can't people be honest, so that when there are actual people in need, those with kind hearts can give them a little money or help without worrying that the person actually has a million dollar home or is just too lazy to work?
Why does life have to be so full of sorrow, and such fleeting moments of joy?
Why can't our brains recognize when we have it good, so we can avoid taking moments, or people for granted?
And also, why can Victoria's Secret charge 12 dollars for some underwear??
These are just some of the things on my brain. And, now I've run out of steam. Completely pointless blog post tonight.. I apologize.