Hello Blogesphere! Long time no see huh? Well I'm afraid today will be a short but sweet post seeing as I am sick and so freaking tired. Must be mono! No! That would be incorrect. Mono is the kissing disease, and I have not kissed, therefore, it cannot be mono. I know, I know. You can get mono from sharing drinks or spoons or anything that has spit on it. Since I haven't done that either, it's not mono It's just awful that's all.
In any case, I just wanted to do a post specifically devoted to my friends! All the ones I've known for years, and my more recent friends as well. I really want to just name everyone is specific, but I also don't want to lest I should forget someone in my drugged up state and offend one of my awesome friends! There is no way I want to lose any of you, and if I decide I do, I'll let you know! HA! Just kidding! No! Each and everyone of you has your own little spot in my heart, with big screen T.V.s and other awesome things that you love that will fit in my heart! You know why?! I want you all to be happy there. So! If you think you need a heated toilet seat, or a hot tub to be in my heart, then so be it! I will make room for those things too!
So! To any of my friends who happen across this blog post (blog is a stupid word that I actually hate) then just know that I love you and I hope we have many more years of awesome stories to share! I love speaking to you guys daily or weekly as the case may be, and appreciate all of you who have kept contact with me in your busy lives! You are awesome, and I hardly deserve you! This also goes out to my family members! I love you guys and am thrilled to be saddled with you for eternity! Also, to the friends of my parents who've treated me as much as a daughter of their own, you guys are awesome and we have all been so lucky to know you and have you in our lives! I thank the Lord for you every day because you guys help me make it through! Once again, I love you all! And I'm sorry cold medicine makes me emotional!
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Scrambled Thoughts That Are Half-Baked and Under-Done
Today has been such... a day!! It wasn't good, and it wasn't bad. It was mostly just a Saturday. Which is a bummer if you think about it because Saturdays are supposed to be super awesome! Remember when we were kids and we would wait for One Saturday Morning on ABC to come on? We would watch Pepperann, Recess, Doug, and all of those other awesome classic cartoons?! Oh, those were the days. Days when kids actually played outside instead of inside on gaming systems, parents would parent instead of saying 'come back later, I'm checking my facebook', and we didn't worry if we had boogers or sweat or icky things like that. Being a kid was AWESOME. Seriously. Kids would never shower except that their mothers tell them to. I guess the word "stink" only applies to dog poop and cows at that age. This was actually a tangent that I didn't mean to go off on at ALL. Completely accidental.
Tomorrow is Sunday and dang how I wish I wasn't working. I picked up a couple hours at work because of the M'stang that I decided to call Arthur for now. Or maybe Lancelot. Hmm. I'll have to eenie meenie minee moe it, I think. That is the only way I'm going to be able to choose. Anyways, I picked up these hours. It won't be horrible because it's not until noon thirty and only till three. It's short, and its the GSA shift so that is decent. But, it is a Sunday. I feel so guilty because A-I just got a calling last week, and now I won't be at church because of work. 2- The Lord helped me get a freaking mustang! I never thought I would own a nice car. Last- I thought I would be seeing some of the other girls at church tomorrow, and nope. It was not to be. Hopefully I'll be forgiven since there is a good reason.
I decided I'm going to make a troll list. Yes. This is a list of people that I do NOT like at all. Instead of using the B word or dumb head, they're just going to be trolls. It is as nice as it is going to get I'm pretty sure. I had to add another person to the troll list today. I don't actually hate this person, but they should never have power at all. There are just certain people that should never be put in a place of power because they can't reign properly. Some people are born to rule, others are there to be backstabbers like Iago and distort everything that people say, and others are born to be subjects that choose the right ruler. I like being a subject! Though if I can steal the crown for a few hours to be queen, then I'm going to do it. I thought I wanted to rant about this but I can't! So, I'll just move on.
I wanted to update you guys on my men! This list is now down to man. There will always be a special place in my heart for the boy who's smile stops my heart, but he just refuses to leave his girlfriend! So, obviously, this won't work. This is okay. He's just too far out of my league. So is Mr. Intrigue but for some reason, he seems to like me! I'll run with it until he comes to his senses! In any case. He and I had an interesting conversation today. As usual it was sort of brief. Actually very brief. But, it was yet another glimpse of who this guy is, and I like it. Though, I'm still very confused. If he would make an actual move, I would be very VERY happy and perfectly willing to oblige. I really want to talk to him in person because I have no idea what he's really like and I just want to know more. But, I'm not going to lie, I hate dating. I don't want to do it anymore. It would be great to meet this guy just so I can figure out if dating is actually something that is appealing again, or if I can just call it quits and wait a few years.
Here is the thing about dating. It's tricky because you have to know what you want. What traits you're looking for. Where you're going in life and where you want to end up. You also have to know the things you can compromise on and the things you can't. You also have to like yourself and have confidence that someone out there is going to like you for you too. The list goes on, but these are the things that popped into my head right off. I only know about a quarter of these things. So, I still have some work I think before I even want to consider dating again.
Okay. Well, This is probably the shortest post I've ever done, but if you couldn't tell, I'm not my normal, witty self because I am SO DANG TIRED. I have to get to sleep so I can wake up and do it all again tomorrow, just for a shorter amount of time. I can tell you, all I want to do is cuddle up with a book tomorrow and stay in bed for the whole day. It's not going to happen.
Goodnight my internet family!
Tomorrow is Sunday and dang how I wish I wasn't working. I picked up a couple hours at work because of the M'stang that I decided to call Arthur for now. Or maybe Lancelot. Hmm. I'll have to eenie meenie minee moe it, I think. That is the only way I'm going to be able to choose. Anyways, I picked up these hours. It won't be horrible because it's not until noon thirty and only till three. It's short, and its the GSA shift so that is decent. But, it is a Sunday. I feel so guilty because A-I just got a calling last week, and now I won't be at church because of work. 2- The Lord helped me get a freaking mustang! I never thought I would own a nice car. Last- I thought I would be seeing some of the other girls at church tomorrow, and nope. It was not to be. Hopefully I'll be forgiven since there is a good reason.
I decided I'm going to make a troll list. Yes. This is a list of people that I do NOT like at all. Instead of using the B word or dumb head, they're just going to be trolls. It is as nice as it is going to get I'm pretty sure. I had to add another person to the troll list today. I don't actually hate this person, but they should never have power at all. There are just certain people that should never be put in a place of power because they can't reign properly. Some people are born to rule, others are there to be backstabbers like Iago and distort everything that people say, and others are born to be subjects that choose the right ruler. I like being a subject! Though if I can steal the crown for a few hours to be queen, then I'm going to do it. I thought I wanted to rant about this but I can't! So, I'll just move on.
I wanted to update you guys on my men! This list is now down to man. There will always be a special place in my heart for the boy who's smile stops my heart, but he just refuses to leave his girlfriend! So, obviously, this won't work. This is okay. He's just too far out of my league. So is Mr. Intrigue but for some reason, he seems to like me! I'll run with it until he comes to his senses! In any case. He and I had an interesting conversation today. As usual it was sort of brief. Actually very brief. But, it was yet another glimpse of who this guy is, and I like it. Though, I'm still very confused. If he would make an actual move, I would be very VERY happy and perfectly willing to oblige. I really want to talk to him in person because I have no idea what he's really like and I just want to know more. But, I'm not going to lie, I hate dating. I don't want to do it anymore. It would be great to meet this guy just so I can figure out if dating is actually something that is appealing again, or if I can just call it quits and wait a few years.
Here is the thing about dating. It's tricky because you have to know what you want. What traits you're looking for. Where you're going in life and where you want to end up. You also have to know the things you can compromise on and the things you can't. You also have to like yourself and have confidence that someone out there is going to like you for you too. The list goes on, but these are the things that popped into my head right off. I only know about a quarter of these things. So, I still have some work I think before I even want to consider dating again.
Okay. Well, This is probably the shortest post I've ever done, but if you couldn't tell, I'm not my normal, witty self because I am SO DANG TIRED. I have to get to sleep so I can wake up and do it all again tomorrow, just for a shorter amount of time. I can tell you, all I want to do is cuddle up with a book tomorrow and stay in bed for the whole day. It's not going to happen.
Goodnight my internet family!
Friday, February 24, 2012
Tap-Dancing On My Last Nerve
Readers, I'm at a loss of what to say today. I'm so grumpy about a few things that I can't seem to focus on being creative or witty. Not that today wasn't a good day, because it totally was! I found out a few things at work that made me happy. Also, I GOT MY PONY! He is parked in the garage. I feel like calling him No Name because of that song? I sure hope you know the one! Plus, I can totally afford the payments on it! It was a lot less then I expected. So, you see? Good day. I do have to mention an incident that happened at work today that just pissed me right off.
I really REALLY want to use this persons name. The only reason I'm not is because people from Target (HEY GUYS!) read this blog, and though I doubt it, some of them might be friends with this person. (I'm quite confident that this unfortunate human has no friends because she is SO unpleasant. I'm not a super violent person, but I want to hit her more than I want to hit Justin Bieber.) What happened was this, and this is the nutshell version: We were marking some salvage in domestics today, and there were a TON of curtains and towels that went. 4 carts worth. So, we had to keep making trips to the back room to box the salvage up. Well, this person seems to think they own the ENTIRE back room. Since we're going through a remodel, the backroom is just chaos. Well, I put a cart by this persons "work area" THAT THEY WEREN'T EVEN IN, and they said "Will you move that cart so I can get into my office??" Now, WHERE was the please in that sentence?? Did you see one? I don't. It's because there wasn't one. So, I turned to her and said " You know what? When the girls are done with their cart, they'll move it." I would've LOVED to have added a profanity on that sentence. Well, actually I did, but not for anybody to hear. I would LOVE to push this stupid girl off a cliff in her friggin' rolly chair. I would wave the entire time she was falling, and when she would beg for help, I'd say, GET OUT OF YOUR FREAKIN' ROLLY CHAIR AND HELP YOUR OWN DANG SELF, YOU LAZY, UNPLEASANT, PIECE OF .... (insert bad word here.) Yes. I feel strongly about this person. There is a reason she works in the back. She is far too unpleasant to be out with guests. If they met her, they would never come back. I don't know how the vendors haven't murdered her already and put in the compactor. Okay! That is all for that rant! Sorry! That was hostile, and its pretty rare that I wish bodily harm on people (besides me wanting to hit them.. I don't hit hard at all.) but she TOTALLY deserves it. I'm probably going to Hell now.
Anyways! The other thing getting on my nerves today are my dogs.
Something about dogs barking ALL THE TIME just an awful thing. This is what's been happening since I got home from work. All I know, is that it is driving me crazy! It came to mind that maybe one of them was ready to be let out of the kennel, so I decided to step outside and let him have a breather. His name is Socrates, or Socs for short. He is a very VERY big dumb. The only thing he's smart about is knowing where our property begins and other peoples begin. So, when the neighbor kids happened to tread onto our lawn at the exact moment I let him out, he just takes off chasing them, and barking like he will rip heads off. Oh my goodness. This is probably wrong to say, but I love when he chases kids because they get SO SCARED and just start screaming as banshees do. He isn't a big dog, but he's solid. All kids are bigger than him unless they're toddlers. So, when kids run from him, it is so funny! He's very sweet too. His bark is definitely bigger than his bite. However, he can jump so dang high! High enough to nip my chin when I'm teasing him. And I'm 5'3".
Despite the fact that he barks like a pubescent teenager, kids are so frightened of him!
All I know is that I want to sit here in my room and obsess over this song some more (guys, they need a support group for this, I swear.) and I can't focus on this beautiful music because stupid dogs are barking at things that aren't even there! Ugh. Dogs. I love them, but only when they're quite. Unless I'm the one making them bark. =)
Another thing on my nerves is the insurance companies websites. Why, pray tell, do you need my address when all I'm doing is getting a friggin' bid?? I just want to put in the make, model, year of my vehicle, my age, and if I've been in any accidents. Why is it so hard to just do it that way?! It is so frustrating. I've only gotten one bid so far because I didn't want to attempt to negotiate my way around their idiotic system. (They confuse me as badly as Pintrist does.)
And lastly for the negative I SWEAR kind of goes along with my dog situation, only it is hormonal teenagers. My house is full of them right now. Actually, there are only 4 bodies, but hormones take a LOT of space. I really dislike teenagers. I know, I know. I just was one a few years ago. But even when I was 17 I disliked them so much. I was one of the most giggly people in the planet and all of that jazz, and I would like to personally apologize to those who EVER heard me because it was obnoxious. I hate listening to it. Why? Not because they're happy and I'm not (because I am very happy!) But, it's because it's all flirting. I just want to yell "Say what you freaking want to say and don't make me listen to you guys dance around what you want to say which is 'You're a babe and I want to be promiscuous with you.'" Gag. I can't listen to my music or read without hearing "OH CHASE YOU'RE SOOOOOO FUNNY! I just LOOOOOVE you, babe! You're so sexy when you play guitar? Can you right me a looooove song???" Okay. That's a dramatization but that is totally what it sounds like to me.
Anyways! This post seems so negative and I feel so bad because like I said! It's been a very good day! Except for dogs, teenagers, and stupid trolls who work in the backroom. Troll. That is totally what she is!
That's all for today! Oh! And small update: Intriguing boy is not mad at me! But, we never actually talked it out.. So that is probably a flag.
I hope you days are filled with fun! No teens giggling, or doggies barking, or tolls stepping on your toes!
I really REALLY want to use this persons name. The only reason I'm not is because people from Target (HEY GUYS!) read this blog, and though I doubt it, some of them might be friends with this person. (I'm quite confident that this unfortunate human has no friends because she is SO unpleasant. I'm not a super violent person, but I want to hit her more than I want to hit Justin Bieber.) What happened was this, and this is the nutshell version: We were marking some salvage in domestics today, and there were a TON of curtains and towels that went. 4 carts worth. So, we had to keep making trips to the back room to box the salvage up. Well, this person seems to think they own the ENTIRE back room. Since we're going through a remodel, the backroom is just chaos. Well, I put a cart by this persons "work area" THAT THEY WEREN'T EVEN IN, and they said "Will you move that cart so I can get into my office??" Now, WHERE was the please in that sentence?? Did you see one? I don't. It's because there wasn't one. So, I turned to her and said " You know what? When the girls are done with their cart, they'll move it." I would've LOVED to have added a profanity on that sentence. Well, actually I did, but not for anybody to hear. I would LOVE to push this stupid girl off a cliff in her friggin' rolly chair. I would wave the entire time she was falling, and when she would beg for help, I'd say, GET OUT OF YOUR FREAKIN' ROLLY CHAIR AND HELP YOUR OWN DANG SELF, YOU LAZY, UNPLEASANT, PIECE OF .... (insert bad word here.) Yes. I feel strongly about this person. There is a reason she works in the back. She is far too unpleasant to be out with guests. If they met her, they would never come back. I don't know how the vendors haven't murdered her already and put in the compactor. Okay! That is all for that rant! Sorry! That was hostile, and its pretty rare that I wish bodily harm on people (besides me wanting to hit them.. I don't hit hard at all.) but she TOTALLY deserves it. I'm probably going to Hell now.
Anyways! The other thing getting on my nerves today are my dogs.
Something about dogs barking ALL THE TIME just an awful thing. This is what's been happening since I got home from work. All I know, is that it is driving me crazy! It came to mind that maybe one of them was ready to be let out of the kennel, so I decided to step outside and let him have a breather. His name is Socrates, or Socs for short. He is a very VERY big dumb. The only thing he's smart about is knowing where our property begins and other peoples begin. So, when the neighbor kids happened to tread onto our lawn at the exact moment I let him out, he just takes off chasing them, and barking like he will rip heads off. Oh my goodness. This is probably wrong to say, but I love when he chases kids because they get SO SCARED and just start screaming as banshees do. He isn't a big dog, but he's solid. All kids are bigger than him unless they're toddlers. So, when kids run from him, it is so funny! He's very sweet too. His bark is definitely bigger than his bite. However, he can jump so dang high! High enough to nip my chin when I'm teasing him. And I'm 5'3".
Despite the fact that he barks like a pubescent teenager, kids are so frightened of him!
All I know is that I want to sit here in my room and obsess over this song some more (guys, they need a support group for this, I swear.) and I can't focus on this beautiful music because stupid dogs are barking at things that aren't even there! Ugh. Dogs. I love them, but only when they're quite. Unless I'm the one making them bark. =)
Another thing on my nerves is the insurance companies websites. Why, pray tell, do you need my address when all I'm doing is getting a friggin' bid?? I just want to put in the make, model, year of my vehicle, my age, and if I've been in any accidents. Why is it so hard to just do it that way?! It is so frustrating. I've only gotten one bid so far because I didn't want to attempt to negotiate my way around their idiotic system. (They confuse me as badly as Pintrist does.)
And lastly for the negative I SWEAR kind of goes along with my dog situation, only it is hormonal teenagers. My house is full of them right now. Actually, there are only 4 bodies, but hormones take a LOT of space. I really dislike teenagers. I know, I know. I just was one a few years ago. But even when I was 17 I disliked them so much. I was one of the most giggly people in the planet and all of that jazz, and I would like to personally apologize to those who EVER heard me because it was obnoxious. I hate listening to it. Why? Not because they're happy and I'm not (because I am very happy!) But, it's because it's all flirting. I just want to yell "Say what you freaking want to say and don't make me listen to you guys dance around what you want to say which is 'You're a babe and I want to be promiscuous with you.'" Gag. I can't listen to my music or read without hearing "OH CHASE YOU'RE SOOOOOO FUNNY! I just LOOOOOVE you, babe! You're so sexy when you play guitar? Can you right me a looooove song???" Okay. That's a dramatization but that is totally what it sounds like to me.
Anyways! This post seems so negative and I feel so bad because like I said! It's been a very good day! Except for dogs, teenagers, and stupid trolls who work in the backroom. Troll. That is totally what she is!
That's all for today! Oh! And small update: Intriguing boy is not mad at me! But, we never actually talked it out.. So that is probably a flag.
I hope you days are filled with fun! No teens giggling, or doggies barking, or tolls stepping on your toes!
Thursday, February 23, 2012
This Is How To Talk With Your Foot in Your Mouth
Oh dear readers. I made a mistake last night. Though, I can hardly be blamed as much as technology is. Technology is the bane and blessing of my existence. This is about boy numero dos and I am praying that he does not happen across this post or he will know exactly who he is! And this could be bad. I seemed to have guessed wrong about him again. I must stop pinning people! It is a bad BAD habit! If you possess this habit as well, I insist you join with me and try to kick it. Well, Intriguing Boy and I have an interesting kind of relationship. He says hello, I say hello back, and he asks me to come cuddle. I know, this sounds scandalous. That is hardly what it seems. In my case, it was more than it seemed. He also asks for pictures. Not dirty ones or anything of that nature, just pictures. If any of you know me well, you know that I don't like to send pictures at all. I think they are shallow (which is kind of ironic since I am kind of shallow myself and I HATE that I know it and can admit to it.) and that they encourage the wrong kind of relationship. Unless you're actually IN a relationship, then you send duck faced pictures {BANG}* to each other all day long. I usually say no. Well. This boy and I had a conversation about these pictures. We came across a misunderstanding that I can hardly explain because it spun out of control a little too quickly, and now, he is mad at me. I chalk this up to a few things. First, to technology for making it so dang hard to express the emotion you're trying to express. Second, my being so cynical. I don't think people ask for things like pictures because they have a true and honest intent for them. I think they are asking for them so they can either show off (which sounds very conceded but this is just for arguments sake), do things that we should NEVER talk about, or because they want to make fun of me. Not because they think I'm pretty and just want to see my face. Even saying this, I want to gag because in my world it just doesn't happen for anybody except married people.
I guess I was wrong. Apparently, people actually ask for pictures because they DO think the other person is pretty, and because they actually are interested in them. Oh, I literally face-palmed and shook my head for like five minutes straight. If someone could teach me how to accept that people can actually be genuine, especially guys, I am willing to learn. This is going to be a very stressful day unless I hear that I am forgiven. I had sent a text apologizing for how my previous text came across and tried to assure that it was not the intent. When I heard no reply, I behaved as a 3 year old would. It's the equivalent of slamming your door but with your phone. How? You slam it on your bed, then turn it off. You fold your arms and try to plot on how this cannot be your fault. I've come up with a few reasons that this could be not my fault. One. He has asked me to come over, (His car is broken so he won't come over to my house, plus I live at home...Nuff said) but has never asked me on a formal date. You would think if someone was interested, that would be the first thing. At least, that is my experience, which granted, is limited. Second. Our conversations hardly have substance. They do have their moments, like yesterday, but they are usually direct and very brief. Does that promote any sort of affection? It doesn't seem like it does to me, but once again, limited experience. Third. He works very late into the night, so when he asks me to come over, it's usually 10 or 11:30 pm. So to sum up, I was sure if he was interested, it was only because I was a conquest because of the whole VL thing (this drive boys crazy for some reason) and because my pictures make me look waaayyy hotter than I actually am. Therefore, I thought our relationship was based on primal things like sexual behavior and physical attraction.
Curse me for thinking this way about ANY guy I meet. After my limited experience in them, I hardly deserve the amount of blame that I feel. In any case, I'm pretty sure I offended him badly because I didn't expect him to reciprocate any sort of emotional attachment that I have. Now, I'm just very VERY frustrated because I have no idea how to make this better! I'm just crossing my fingers that I didn't cause any irreparable damage. If I find anything out, I will let you know.
I've also seem to have come down with Angry Bird Fever.. This is probably not a good thing! I just downloaded it onto my Kindle Fire.. I have a feeling it's going to be very distracting. But! Now I have something to play in church on Sundays that I can't pay attention! This makes me pretty excited! Not to mention my Kindle finally decided that I was allowed to download the free version so I didn't even have to pay! Can I get a Halla!?
I'm finding out that every day, I'm getting one or two more people reading this blog! I cannot tell you how much this pleases me! Not only does it show me what AWESOME friends I have, but it also shows me that people actually can stand to read my writing, and that is a blessing! Why?? One day, I'm hoping to finish the two or three books that I've started and have them published! I'm not sure how well this will turn out since I am not yet comfortable sharing any of the things I've written with anybody! Except things I've written on this blog! One day, maybe I'll get gutsy and post some little nothings on here and see how that goes!
I also have something else to confess. I am completely obsessed with a song called Somebody That I Used to Know by Gotye. He is a super sexy Aussie man that has eyes I would love to sleep in. If you've never heard this song, I suggest you listen to it and try not to damage your replay button because you will LOVE it. This is a song that anybody can relate to because I can about guarantee that every person has had a friend or ex boyfriend/girlfriend that has said you would stay friends no matter what, then they decide that they don't want to know you at all. They send their friends to pick up there things, and then change their number without telling you and telling everyone on the DL. Ha! Lyric Alert. Anyways! Check it out on youtube so you can see the sexy man tower I'm talking about. Just keep in mind, he gets cuter and cuter as you watch the video.. Kind of like Mr. Darcy in Pride and Prejudice. Or Mr. Rochester in Jane Eyre. They just grow on you until they become an appendage that you don't quite want to chop off.
Last on my list of things that happened is that my mother dearest decided to up and go to Vegas to meet this man that she says is so very sexy. I know him. His name is Wally. AKA my dad! She took the little sister so that's just a little less stress to deal with. But! I miss her already! I hope that they have a good time down there and also that they don't mind if we throw a few parties in their absence. I mean, my mom actually doesn't read this consistently so by the time she does read it, she'll be home! That is a guarantee! Though, planning a party and buying everything for it is sooo not going to happen because I have no money. This is because I'm getting my sexy black M'Stang tomorrow! I think I need another halla!! I'm very excited to have a car, and that it is a pony! This is something I never expected to happen to me because I always thought my first car would be a piece of crap. I guess it depends on who you talk to, and who likes Fords and who doesn't. All I know is that I have yet to name this vehicle! It's going to be hard to top the name I gave my Xterra which is Sir Jack Gallahad. He's kind of gender confused. I haven't had time to inspect this mustang to see if it is male or female.. SO! If you have any clever names, just shoot em my way! I need ideas people!
Well! I am supposed to wake up in 4 and a half hours, so I should get to sleep! Thanks as always to the fabulous people with awesome taste who read this blog! I will post pictures of my pony tomorrow or Saturday on facebook! Cheerios! (Like the cereal of course.. because I'm craving them..)
* Any time you see someone post a picture with the classic duck face, post a comment that says Bang! We're going duck hunting!
I guess I was wrong. Apparently, people actually ask for pictures because they DO think the other person is pretty, and because they actually are interested in them. Oh, I literally face-palmed and shook my head for like five minutes straight. If someone could teach me how to accept that people can actually be genuine, especially guys, I am willing to learn. This is going to be a very stressful day unless I hear that I am forgiven. I had sent a text apologizing for how my previous text came across and tried to assure that it was not the intent. When I heard no reply, I behaved as a 3 year old would. It's the equivalent of slamming your door but with your phone. How? You slam it on your bed, then turn it off. You fold your arms and try to plot on how this cannot be your fault. I've come up with a few reasons that this could be not my fault. One. He has asked me to come over, (His car is broken so he won't come over to my house, plus I live at home...Nuff said) but has never asked me on a formal date. You would think if someone was interested, that would be the first thing. At least, that is my experience, which granted, is limited. Second. Our conversations hardly have substance. They do have their moments, like yesterday, but they are usually direct and very brief. Does that promote any sort of affection? It doesn't seem like it does to me, but once again, limited experience. Third. He works very late into the night, so when he asks me to come over, it's usually 10 or 11:30 pm. So to sum up, I was sure if he was interested, it was only because I was a conquest because of the whole VL thing (this drive boys crazy for some reason) and because my pictures make me look waaayyy hotter than I actually am. Therefore, I thought our relationship was based on primal things like sexual behavior and physical attraction.
Curse me for thinking this way about ANY guy I meet. After my limited experience in them, I hardly deserve the amount of blame that I feel. In any case, I'm pretty sure I offended him badly because I didn't expect him to reciprocate any sort of emotional attachment that I have. Now, I'm just very VERY frustrated because I have no idea how to make this better! I'm just crossing my fingers that I didn't cause any irreparable damage. If I find anything out, I will let you know.
I've also seem to have come down with Angry Bird Fever.. This is probably not a good thing! I just downloaded it onto my Kindle Fire.. I have a feeling it's going to be very distracting. But! Now I have something to play in church on Sundays that I can't pay attention! This makes me pretty excited! Not to mention my Kindle finally decided that I was allowed to download the free version so I didn't even have to pay! Can I get a Halla!?
I'm finding out that every day, I'm getting one or two more people reading this blog! I cannot tell you how much this pleases me! Not only does it show me what AWESOME friends I have, but it also shows me that people actually can stand to read my writing, and that is a blessing! Why?? One day, I'm hoping to finish the two or three books that I've started and have them published! I'm not sure how well this will turn out since I am not yet comfortable sharing any of the things I've written with anybody! Except things I've written on this blog! One day, maybe I'll get gutsy and post some little nothings on here and see how that goes!
I also have something else to confess. I am completely obsessed with a song called Somebody That I Used to Know by Gotye. He is a super sexy Aussie man that has eyes I would love to sleep in. If you've never heard this song, I suggest you listen to it and try not to damage your replay button because you will LOVE it. This is a song that anybody can relate to because I can about guarantee that every person has had a friend or ex boyfriend/girlfriend that has said you would stay friends no matter what, then they decide that they don't want to know you at all. They send their friends to pick up there things, and then change their number without telling you and telling everyone on the DL. Ha! Lyric Alert. Anyways! Check it out on youtube so you can see the sexy man tower I'm talking about. Just keep in mind, he gets cuter and cuter as you watch the video.. Kind of like Mr. Darcy in Pride and Prejudice. Or Mr. Rochester in Jane Eyre. They just grow on you until they become an appendage that you don't quite want to chop off.
Last on my list of things that happened is that my mother dearest decided to up and go to Vegas to meet this man that she says is so very sexy. I know him. His name is Wally. AKA my dad! She took the little sister so that's just a little less stress to deal with. But! I miss her already! I hope that they have a good time down there and also that they don't mind if we throw a few parties in their absence. I mean, my mom actually doesn't read this consistently so by the time she does read it, she'll be home! That is a guarantee! Though, planning a party and buying everything for it is sooo not going to happen because I have no money. This is because I'm getting my sexy black M'Stang tomorrow! I think I need another halla!! I'm very excited to have a car, and that it is a pony! This is something I never expected to happen to me because I always thought my first car would be a piece of crap. I guess it depends on who you talk to, and who likes Fords and who doesn't. All I know is that I have yet to name this vehicle! It's going to be hard to top the name I gave my Xterra which is Sir Jack Gallahad. He's kind of gender confused. I haven't had time to inspect this mustang to see if it is male or female.. SO! If you have any clever names, just shoot em my way! I need ideas people!
Well! I am supposed to wake up in 4 and a half hours, so I should get to sleep! Thanks as always to the fabulous people with awesome taste who read this blog! I will post pictures of my pony tomorrow or Saturday on facebook! Cheerios! (Like the cereal of course.. because I'm craving them..)
* Any time you see someone post a picture with the classic duck face, post a comment that says Bang! We're going duck hunting!
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
This is the greatest and best blog in the world.. Tribute.
Hello my online family! I told you I would do better! I promised! Actually. I didn't. But now, you can have confidence if I do ever make a promise to you! Anyways! Today was a lovely day! How can it not be when you actually get to sleep in past the sun!? That is always step one to a great day. The second step is waking up to see that 10 WHOLE PEOPLE follow your blog!! This is quite amazing. Now. It would be even better if Carrie Jones that awesome author who I love so much would follow it too, though I'm not holding my breath! She is famous and has many other professional items on her agenda! But, since some awesome members of my family, and the greatest friends in the world EVER are reading it, I'm perfectly happy!
I've gotta tell you! I was so very excited to blog this morning when I woke up, and I'm still very excited about it right now, only.. I cannot remember that exciting thing I was going to try to focus on. I know I wanted to express some super potent gratitude to everyone who takes time out of their day to follow my daily (mostly) rants with their eyes! That is super cool! If I had money enough, I would buy you all laptops and send you lovely but lame emails every day, telling you "wow! you've lost weight!!" or "did you get contacts?!" but probably more along the lines of "you trimmed your hair didn't you?!" Ha! No! I would just tell you you're awesome and that you deserve more than laptops! When I'm a rich and famous writer, I will remember the people who started me off with support! Then! I will pay you all what you deserve! Which are castles and private islands!
Well, it is Wednesday night. Glee was on yesterday, and I simply must take a line or two to freak OUT about how it ended and moan about how I have to wait till April 10th for it to come back on! So! This starts now: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!
That is sufficient I believe.
Moving on! One of these days, I hope to turn this blog into like.. a talk show for your eyes. How you may ask?! This would be my plan! To bug my friends into answering questions and what not and post them here for my other friends to enjoy. Don't get your hopes up too high though. It's a poorly thought out plan. Sort of like people who want to jump off a waterfall without checking if there are rocks at the bottom. Much like them, I would rather avoid becoming a Sidney on the rocks. (GET IT?! Like... an alcoholic beverage that is served on the rocks?! No..? Nothing..? Eh.) In any case! There will be fun things coming soon enough!
I also cannot resist telling you about my Target family! Since we spend every day together, bickering, bantering, belly aching, and other B words that I won't post on here for the sake of some of my readers. You catch the drift though, I'm sure! In any case! They are the girls that I wake up to every day. They are my pricing team! I love each and every one of them! I tell you what! I cannot believe some of the things we talk about! It makes me laugh out loud when I think about one specific person getting carried out of a men's bathroom because they drank a straight bottle of Everclear at a Three Dog Night concert! Or the girls that love to go clubbing when they have the weekend off! Or the other who loves Valentines Day because she puts together some pretty elaborate scavenger hunts for her husband! This makes me wish I was somewhat more exciting! I have no fun stories like this! So it seems that I'll need either alcohol or a husband to gain some stories of this caliber! I'm not so sure about that! But! These girls just make my day when they yell my name from across the store just so they can all wave at the same time! The reason this is, is because I am a person who had put all of their eggs in one basket, but I did it with a friend that let me down entirely. So, for the past year, I've had a lot of time just hanging out alone because I thought Best Friends Forever meant longer than Best Friend Till I'm Married. I don't want to discount the friends I have had for years, or the newer friends I've made because I LOVE you all too! The only thing that makes this slightly different is that this person was someone I talked to every day, and told everything to. I feel the same way about best friends as I do about missionaries. Don't waste time unless you know for sure! Anyways! The point is that it has been a while since I've felt accepted by a group of people. It's a great feeling, knowing that they like you for you and not because their calling said they had to or because they're related by blood. To my pricing team I say: You is kind, you is smart, and you is important! (This is funny because none of the girls that are on my team read this blog!)
Switching gears, I would love to tell you about a couple boys that make my heart go in unsteady rhythms. One of them works at Target. For this reason, I won't tell you his name lest some of my vengeful or meddlesome friends decide to take matters into their own hands! But! This boy has been on my mind for a while. The pathetic part is, that I know there won't be anything going on here. Why? Because while he's been on my mind, his girlfriend has been on his. The only issue is that he is a shameless flirt! Oh be still my beating heart! I cannot take it anymore! It is absolute torture! And I'm not the only person to notice this, so don't start telling me I'm crazy, because though I am about a few things, I am NOT about this! This boy is so charismatic that I swear I turn into a liquid state when he speaks. If he shoots a smile in my direction, I about get blasted right out of the building because it is that glorious and I'm not worthy to be in it's presence. Plus, he is sooo nice! His girlfriend probably thinks so too.
The other guy has this way of keeping me guessing. I don't know anything more than his name, and where he goes to school. But I cannot pin down his personality for the life of me! It's very intriguing. At first, I had him pinned at the guy who thinks he's God's gift. Now, I know that he has depth. He is actually capable of being caring, not just pulling flattery out of his you know what. Even though I know this, he still seems so distant. It's crazy. No, his smile doesn't shoot out rays of sunlight, but that is only because I've never seen it in person. That will be step one in deciding with this one I think. So! Those are my two boys! I feel like I should be opening a poll to take your vote..?
I made a mistake last night. After I finished posting about my one true love who isn't mine, I decided to pull out some of the letters I'd received. Trips down memory lane are not a good idea, especially at times when those memories were ones that left your heart broken. The last time I did this, I ended up in tears, calling my not so best friend and begged her for an answer on WHY this happened. I don't know if it was easier to cope with this time because A- I don't have a best friend to call at all hours of the night and beg for answers that only the Lord can provide, or B- I've decided to man up and grow a pair and try to face what happened. It's probably a bit of both. After I'd read these letters, it still made me so very sad, but not unbearably so. All throughout today, those written words came into my head and gave me some relief, as well as discomfort. This is a double edged sword. It did make me realize some things though. I know now, I really did love him. I also know that if a guy can ever express himself to me in that way again, I won't stand a chance. Lastly, I'm looking for someone ten times better than him. This is going to be a challenge, but as Barney Stinsen would say: Challenge accepted.
I would like to lighten the mood a little! Well. actually more than a little! It got a little heavy there and I hate weight lifting! This is a very story amusing occurrence, but it did happen! Today I was craving a burrito so badly. Badly enough, that I wanted to pound my fists into my steering wheel and scream until someone brought me one. That is the thing about being an adult. You can throw tantrums all you want, but the only person who is going to get you something is you. So that's what I did! I held off the tantrums until I reached home, where I had the most mediocre burrito. You know what? I still want one. Taco Time is calling my name, and if I had money, I would answer.
Okay! I think I've gone on long enough! It's now time to let you go back to your lives! Until next time!
I've gotta tell you! I was so very excited to blog this morning when I woke up, and I'm still very excited about it right now, only.. I cannot remember that exciting thing I was going to try to focus on. I know I wanted to express some super potent gratitude to everyone who takes time out of their day to follow my daily (mostly) rants with their eyes! That is super cool! If I had money enough, I would buy you all laptops and send you lovely but lame emails every day, telling you "wow! you've lost weight!!" or "did you get contacts?!" but probably more along the lines of "you trimmed your hair didn't you?!" Ha! No! I would just tell you you're awesome and that you deserve more than laptops! When I'm a rich and famous writer, I will remember the people who started me off with support! Then! I will pay you all what you deserve! Which are castles and private islands!
Well, it is Wednesday night. Glee was on yesterday, and I simply must take a line or two to freak OUT about how it ended and moan about how I have to wait till April 10th for it to come back on! So! This starts now: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!
That is sufficient I believe.
Moving on! One of these days, I hope to turn this blog into like.. a talk show for your eyes. How you may ask?! This would be my plan! To bug my friends into answering questions and what not and post them here for my other friends to enjoy. Don't get your hopes up too high though. It's a poorly thought out plan. Sort of like people who want to jump off a waterfall without checking if there are rocks at the bottom. Much like them, I would rather avoid becoming a Sidney on the rocks. (GET IT?! Like... an alcoholic beverage that is served on the rocks?! No..? Nothing..? Eh.) In any case! There will be fun things coming soon enough!
I also cannot resist telling you about my Target family! Since we spend every day together, bickering, bantering, belly aching, and other B words that I won't post on here for the sake of some of my readers. You catch the drift though, I'm sure! In any case! They are the girls that I wake up to every day. They are my pricing team! I love each and every one of them! I tell you what! I cannot believe some of the things we talk about! It makes me laugh out loud when I think about one specific person getting carried out of a men's bathroom because they drank a straight bottle of Everclear at a Three Dog Night concert! Or the girls that love to go clubbing when they have the weekend off! Or the other who loves Valentines Day because she puts together some pretty elaborate scavenger hunts for her husband! This makes me wish I was somewhat more exciting! I have no fun stories like this! So it seems that I'll need either alcohol or a husband to gain some stories of this caliber! I'm not so sure about that! But! These girls just make my day when they yell my name from across the store just so they can all wave at the same time! The reason this is, is because I am a person who had put all of their eggs in one basket, but I did it with a friend that let me down entirely. So, for the past year, I've had a lot of time just hanging out alone because I thought Best Friends Forever meant longer than Best Friend Till I'm Married. I don't want to discount the friends I have had for years, or the newer friends I've made because I LOVE you all too! The only thing that makes this slightly different is that this person was someone I talked to every day, and told everything to. I feel the same way about best friends as I do about missionaries. Don't waste time unless you know for sure! Anyways! The point is that it has been a while since I've felt accepted by a group of people. It's a great feeling, knowing that they like you for you and not because their calling said they had to or because they're related by blood. To my pricing team I say: You is kind, you is smart, and you is important! (This is funny because none of the girls that are on my team read this blog!)
Switching gears, I would love to tell you about a couple boys that make my heart go in unsteady rhythms. One of them works at Target. For this reason, I won't tell you his name lest some of my vengeful or meddlesome friends decide to take matters into their own hands! But! This boy has been on my mind for a while. The pathetic part is, that I know there won't be anything going on here. Why? Because while he's been on my mind, his girlfriend has been on his. The only issue is that he is a shameless flirt! Oh be still my beating heart! I cannot take it anymore! It is absolute torture! And I'm not the only person to notice this, so don't start telling me I'm crazy, because though I am about a few things, I am NOT about this! This boy is so charismatic that I swear I turn into a liquid state when he speaks. If he shoots a smile in my direction, I about get blasted right out of the building because it is that glorious and I'm not worthy to be in it's presence. Plus, he is sooo nice! His girlfriend probably thinks so too.
The other guy has this way of keeping me guessing. I don't know anything more than his name, and where he goes to school. But I cannot pin down his personality for the life of me! It's very intriguing. At first, I had him pinned at the guy who thinks he's God's gift. Now, I know that he has depth. He is actually capable of being caring, not just pulling flattery out of his you know what. Even though I know this, he still seems so distant. It's crazy. No, his smile doesn't shoot out rays of sunlight, but that is only because I've never seen it in person. That will be step one in deciding with this one I think. So! Those are my two boys! I feel like I should be opening a poll to take your vote..?
I made a mistake last night. After I finished posting about my one true love who isn't mine, I decided to pull out some of the letters I'd received. Trips down memory lane are not a good idea, especially at times when those memories were ones that left your heart broken. The last time I did this, I ended up in tears, calling my not so best friend and begged her for an answer on WHY this happened. I don't know if it was easier to cope with this time because A- I don't have a best friend to call at all hours of the night and beg for answers that only the Lord can provide, or B- I've decided to man up and grow a pair and try to face what happened. It's probably a bit of both. After I'd read these letters, it still made me so very sad, but not unbearably so. All throughout today, those written words came into my head and gave me some relief, as well as discomfort. This is a double edged sword. It did make me realize some things though. I know now, I really did love him. I also know that if a guy can ever express himself to me in that way again, I won't stand a chance. Lastly, I'm looking for someone ten times better than him. This is going to be a challenge, but as Barney Stinsen would say: Challenge accepted.
I would like to lighten the mood a little! Well. actually more than a little! It got a little heavy there and I hate weight lifting! This is a very story amusing occurrence, but it did happen! Today I was craving a burrito so badly. Badly enough, that I wanted to pound my fists into my steering wheel and scream until someone brought me one. That is the thing about being an adult. You can throw tantrums all you want, but the only person who is going to get you something is you. So that's what I did! I held off the tantrums until I reached home, where I had the most mediocre burrito. You know what? I still want one. Taco Time is calling my name, and if I had money, I would answer.
Okay! I think I've gone on long enough! It's now time to let you go back to your lives! Until next time!
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Behind the looking glass, and through my eyes.
Oh! My blog followers! ALL two of you! I am very sorry I've been so absent this week! I don't know what the problem is! But! I will rectify it immediately! Though, I don't have any stories to share, I DO have a few personal opinions to express! They range from what I think of stoners and their high opinion of themselves, to church. It's a pretty blog spectrum, don't you think?! It should be interesting.
I will start with the stoners. Oh my dear drug heads and successful lumps on logs! You are doing a FINE job of making those who like to live in reality VERY worried about how society is heading in a downward spiral. The reason this popped into my head is a post I read on facebook about how proud this girl was to be a stoner. I guess it does take some sort of talent to decide not to do ANYTHING but smoke pot. It's the talent of dedication. Though, if you're going to be so dedicated to something, why don't you actually be dedicated to a cause or something useful?! Make something of yourselves! The thing about those who decide to be of the concrete persuasion, is they have a LOT of potential for great things. The same goes for those who spend all of their time in a drunken stupor. The only reason I say this, is because I do have friends who chose to live this way, and I have seen what they are capable of when they have all of their wits about them. It is their choice to live how they want, but it is a pity to see such talent and progression go to waste.
Nextly, (yes, nextly) I want to talk about other sorts of decisions. My personal ones, and those made by others. How I envy the people who can do those things like party (occasionally) drinking booze and yucking it up. How they can meet a random stranger and hook up with them after 15 minutes of being acquainted. How they can hook up at all! After all, who hasn't met an attractive member of the opposite sex and thought, "I'd tap that." I know, I know. I'm LDS. This is something that is frowned upon, and highly discouraged. Acting upon it, let alone thinking about it is just inappropriate. I understand why. When you start moving a few things to Gutter Town, like a lamp or your clock, you think, well? I might as well just live here! That isn't the right way of thinking. Just because you mess up once, doesn't give anyone a free pass just bump uglies with any person. For some reason, I feel like this mostly applies to LDS members. Not that it doesn't apply to everyone, but when we slip up, we either repent, or go off the deep end. It would be best if we could avoid the deep end, no matter how brilliant a swimmer you are.
I think making good choices goes hand in hand with the people you surround yourself with. If you are more associated with light, then you will be more prone to living in light. The same goes if you surround yourself with darkness. This is not specific to LDS people. ANY person with common sense and an ounce of self preservation knows not to follow a crack addict down a dark ally when they know you have a wallet full of cash. Common sense. That's all it is. Even if you aren't LDS, you still choose the people you hang out with. Those with similar beliefs. Similar hobbies. Similar lifestyles. The list could go on and on. But, if you are trying to live within a specific set of rules, you're going to find it very hard to abide by them when you are flirting with things that toe the line. Now that I've managed to get extremely off track, let's get back to my choices.
Any of my close friends know that I am the unfortunate or fortunate (depending on how you look at it) bearer of the title VL. Virgin Lips for those of us who aren't fond of abbreviations. Now. I've made this choice based on a few things. I wish my religion was 100% the reason. It's not. An unrealistic standard of man created by none other than Walt Disney has had a hand in it. As well as one man I met. I will sum up my sob story into a few short lines. I've always wanted to marry a prince. If a prince was unavailable, then a returned missionary was a close second. If he was an RM Prince then HECK YES. Well, I met the man I thought I would spend my life with when I was 14, almost 15. He had everything I was looking for except for an unfortunate sock habit that I intended to change. In any case, throughout the years, we remained close friends, even while he served a full time mission. I can't even express my joy and excitement that final week when he came home. I swear my heart almost put holes in my chest. In any case, it didn't work out. (and in brief venting, I'm frustrated because I was never given a chance like I expected to get.) I was 16 when he left and 18 when he came home. This is plenty old enough to be making decisions like this. But, I decided, that since I loved this boy so completely, that I would wait till he came home to have my first kiss, because I wanted it to be special, and with someone I loved.
While he was gone and as it got closer to his homecoming, the letters got shorter and less frequent. My thought process for this was because he was busy trying to get everything done before he left. That's also what he told me. Even now, reading the letter, I never noticed a sign he was pulling away or had changed him mind. He must be a good liar. It took me A year and six months to actually go on another date after he left. I put my life on hold. Everything, because I had so much faith this would work out. Now looking back, I realize two things. The first, NEVER put all of your eggs in one basket unless you're absolutely sure it will be okay. Second, the Lord must've been looking out for me. When I started dating right before he got home, it made it a little easier to cope. Not that it wasn't hard. It still is. Even two years later. At least now, I can make jokes and use his name. (For the sake of the blog, I'm not going to!) But, there is probably going to be the painful squeeze until I find someone who can fill that spot.
This is the reason. No amount of making out with empty people is going to make that hole better. It doesn't do any good. Not until I feel the same way times ten as I did about this young man.Though I would be lying if I said I didn't want to. Lately, I've wanted to throw all caution to the wind. I want to find some sexy man tower, and just let it all go. But the guilt I would feel after that is not worth ANY amount of temporary pleasure. I hope my future husband feels the same way. I can't tell you how frustrating it is to find an LDS guy who has saved himself for his wife. I know, I know. You fall in love. Things escalate. But. I would hope that the man I choose KNEW that his wife was out there doing the same thing: waiting to find him. No amount of sex with someone you loved once and left could amount to the love that you feel loving someone for eternity and being willing to save that part of yourself for them.
Now, my last point tonight is going to be a little hard to express. The reason being that any of my friends could read this post and worry if it's them. I want to express my frustration, but without any harm to those I care about. This pertains to the calling of Visiting Teaching. It is a GREAT idea. Not just in theory, but when it is done correctly, it can have so much power over the people you come into contact with. Lately however, I've felt like the Singles Ward Project. (It should be a reality show.) Let me explain why. I love being LDS. I love the hope it gives me, the love I feel from my family and the Lord and His son. But, I have a very hard time attending church. That is one thing I need to work on. When it boils down to basics, it is would you rather sleep, or sit in church for three ours while people ramble on and on, while women cry in such a way that everyone loses the spirit and becomes embarrassed to look at anything except their own knees. Sleep wins 9 times out of 10. But, in my choice, I've now become a "less active". How humiliating. When people ask when I last read my scriptures, and I tell them, they act so surprised. It's offensive really! Funny, but offensive. But! My visiting teachers are great people. I love them dearly. The hitch in this, is that it feels like nothing more than a calling. It hardly feels like a genuine interest in anything. Not that it is completely impersonal because it's not. It just feels like something is missing. That is the reason visiting teaching is such a chore to people. They look at it as a job. Not a service. And if they are looking at it as a service, the intent is not always pure. That is the most frustrating part. I hope for those that I've visit taught, that they know I love them! They are two of the most wonderful girls I have ever had the pleasure of meeting! I hope that we'll be able to become friends in more than a visiting teaching way.
Now that I'm a less active, other members feel the need to put some pressure on me. What is happening, isn't bad. But, it is stressful.Introducing new people to me, and leaving me to fend for myself. This is a bad example, but it's the only one I can think of now. I am a person who is content just being alone most of the time. If I feel like conversing, I will. But once you get introduced to someone and get left alone, you have no choice but to attempt a conversation with a stranger. Nobody wants to feel like they have no choice in the matter. The hardest part about my ward, is that the girls are all so much older than me. Men are so immature, it's easy to relate with older men. Women however grow up faster. Some are able to meet halfway with those who don't have their life figured out, while others remain lofty and unable to understand the thoughts of the less mature females that don't have any idea where they're going in life. It's frustrating to not have anyone to identify with. They can say," Oh, I've been there" but it means a lot less than someone saying,"I know exactly how you feel! I can't decide either! Maybe we can help each other make a decision or two!" You can't relate with someone you don't have anything to relate to.
Anyways! That is all for my super long blog tonight! I had to make up for lost time. Don't forget to follow and comment because blogging is NO FUN without feed back!
I will start with the stoners. Oh my dear drug heads and successful lumps on logs! You are doing a FINE job of making those who like to live in reality VERY worried about how society is heading in a downward spiral. The reason this popped into my head is a post I read on facebook about how proud this girl was to be a stoner. I guess it does take some sort of talent to decide not to do ANYTHING but smoke pot. It's the talent of dedication. Though, if you're going to be so dedicated to something, why don't you actually be dedicated to a cause or something useful?! Make something of yourselves! The thing about those who decide to be of the concrete persuasion, is they have a LOT of potential for great things. The same goes for those who spend all of their time in a drunken stupor. The only reason I say this, is because I do have friends who chose to live this way, and I have seen what they are capable of when they have all of their wits about them. It is their choice to live how they want, but it is a pity to see such talent and progression go to waste.
Nextly, (yes, nextly) I want to talk about other sorts of decisions. My personal ones, and those made by others. How I envy the people who can do those things like party (occasionally) drinking booze and yucking it up. How they can meet a random stranger and hook up with them after 15 minutes of being acquainted. How they can hook up at all! After all, who hasn't met an attractive member of the opposite sex and thought, "I'd tap that." I know, I know. I'm LDS. This is something that is frowned upon, and highly discouraged. Acting upon it, let alone thinking about it is just inappropriate. I understand why. When you start moving a few things to Gutter Town, like a lamp or your clock, you think, well? I might as well just live here! That isn't the right way of thinking. Just because you mess up once, doesn't give anyone a free pass just bump uglies with any person. For some reason, I feel like this mostly applies to LDS members. Not that it doesn't apply to everyone, but when we slip up, we either repent, or go off the deep end. It would be best if we could avoid the deep end, no matter how brilliant a swimmer you are.
I think making good choices goes hand in hand with the people you surround yourself with. If you are more associated with light, then you will be more prone to living in light. The same goes if you surround yourself with darkness. This is not specific to LDS people. ANY person with common sense and an ounce of self preservation knows not to follow a crack addict down a dark ally when they know you have a wallet full of cash. Common sense. That's all it is. Even if you aren't LDS, you still choose the people you hang out with. Those with similar beliefs. Similar hobbies. Similar lifestyles. The list could go on and on. But, if you are trying to live within a specific set of rules, you're going to find it very hard to abide by them when you are flirting with things that toe the line. Now that I've managed to get extremely off track, let's get back to my choices.
Any of my close friends know that I am the unfortunate or fortunate (depending on how you look at it) bearer of the title VL. Virgin Lips for those of us who aren't fond of abbreviations. Now. I've made this choice based on a few things. I wish my religion was 100% the reason. It's not. An unrealistic standard of man created by none other than Walt Disney has had a hand in it. As well as one man I met. I will sum up my sob story into a few short lines. I've always wanted to marry a prince. If a prince was unavailable, then a returned missionary was a close second. If he was an RM Prince then HECK YES. Well, I met the man I thought I would spend my life with when I was 14, almost 15. He had everything I was looking for except for an unfortunate sock habit that I intended to change. In any case, throughout the years, we remained close friends, even while he served a full time mission. I can't even express my joy and excitement that final week when he came home. I swear my heart almost put holes in my chest. In any case, it didn't work out. (and in brief venting, I'm frustrated because I was never given a chance like I expected to get.) I was 16 when he left and 18 when he came home. This is plenty old enough to be making decisions like this. But, I decided, that since I loved this boy so completely, that I would wait till he came home to have my first kiss, because I wanted it to be special, and with someone I loved.
While he was gone and as it got closer to his homecoming, the letters got shorter and less frequent. My thought process for this was because he was busy trying to get everything done before he left. That's also what he told me. Even now, reading the letter, I never noticed a sign he was pulling away or had changed him mind. He must be a good liar. It took me A year and six months to actually go on another date after he left. I put my life on hold. Everything, because I had so much faith this would work out. Now looking back, I realize two things. The first, NEVER put all of your eggs in one basket unless you're absolutely sure it will be okay. Second, the Lord must've been looking out for me. When I started dating right before he got home, it made it a little easier to cope. Not that it wasn't hard. It still is. Even two years later. At least now, I can make jokes and use his name. (For the sake of the blog, I'm not going to!) But, there is probably going to be the painful squeeze until I find someone who can fill that spot.
This is the reason. No amount of making out with empty people is going to make that hole better. It doesn't do any good. Not until I feel the same way times ten as I did about this young man.Though I would be lying if I said I didn't want to. Lately, I've wanted to throw all caution to the wind. I want to find some sexy man tower, and just let it all go. But the guilt I would feel after that is not worth ANY amount of temporary pleasure. I hope my future husband feels the same way. I can't tell you how frustrating it is to find an LDS guy who has saved himself for his wife. I know, I know. You fall in love. Things escalate. But. I would hope that the man I choose KNEW that his wife was out there doing the same thing: waiting to find him. No amount of sex with someone you loved once and left could amount to the love that you feel loving someone for eternity and being willing to save that part of yourself for them.
Now, my last point tonight is going to be a little hard to express. The reason being that any of my friends could read this post and worry if it's them. I want to express my frustration, but without any harm to those I care about. This pertains to the calling of Visiting Teaching. It is a GREAT idea. Not just in theory, but when it is done correctly, it can have so much power over the people you come into contact with. Lately however, I've felt like the Singles Ward Project. (It should be a reality show.) Let me explain why. I love being LDS. I love the hope it gives me, the love I feel from my family and the Lord and His son. But, I have a very hard time attending church. That is one thing I need to work on. When it boils down to basics, it is would you rather sleep, or sit in church for three ours while people ramble on and on, while women cry in such a way that everyone loses the spirit and becomes embarrassed to look at anything except their own knees. Sleep wins 9 times out of 10. But, in my choice, I've now become a "less active". How humiliating. When people ask when I last read my scriptures, and I tell them, they act so surprised. It's offensive really! Funny, but offensive. But! My visiting teachers are great people. I love them dearly. The hitch in this, is that it feels like nothing more than a calling. It hardly feels like a genuine interest in anything. Not that it is completely impersonal because it's not. It just feels like something is missing. That is the reason visiting teaching is such a chore to people. They look at it as a job. Not a service. And if they are looking at it as a service, the intent is not always pure. That is the most frustrating part. I hope for those that I've visit taught, that they know I love them! They are two of the most wonderful girls I have ever had the pleasure of meeting! I hope that we'll be able to become friends in more than a visiting teaching way.
Now that I'm a less active, other members feel the need to put some pressure on me. What is happening, isn't bad. But, it is stressful.Introducing new people to me, and leaving me to fend for myself. This is a bad example, but it's the only one I can think of now. I am a person who is content just being alone most of the time. If I feel like conversing, I will. But once you get introduced to someone and get left alone, you have no choice but to attempt a conversation with a stranger. Nobody wants to feel like they have no choice in the matter. The hardest part about my ward, is that the girls are all so much older than me. Men are so immature, it's easy to relate with older men. Women however grow up faster. Some are able to meet halfway with those who don't have their life figured out, while others remain lofty and unable to understand the thoughts of the less mature females that don't have any idea where they're going in life. It's frustrating to not have anyone to identify with. They can say," Oh, I've been there" but it means a lot less than someone saying,"I know exactly how you feel! I can't decide either! Maybe we can help each other make a decision or two!" You can't relate with someone you don't have anything to relate to.
Anyways! That is all for my super long blog tonight! I had to make up for lost time. Don't forget to follow and comment because blogging is NO FUN without feed back!
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Little Wonders of Uninspired Creativity
Readers, (all three of you), I'm feeling listless today on the blogging front! Not that I don't want to do it, because I really REALLY do! But, I have no funny stories or 'amusing occurrences' happen today, or last night! I'm not sure why this is! My life is boring, but GOODNESS, is it really THIS boring?? I digress.
In any case! I do have a few things that my or may not be entertaining to a few of you! I'll begin with a question? Do you believe that we do more than sleep, when we're sleeping? Besides the usual talking or occasional sleep walking adventure? Well, I have to tell you, we MUST do something more than sleep. How else would you explain how I woke up this morning with sore arms and shoulders when all that I accomplished yesterday was a House M.D. marathon and an impressive amount of stamina to stay laying on the couch for more hours then I would like to admit? Maybe my body knows that I feel guilty for not working out lately, so instead of sleeping, my brain shuts my consciousness out and takes over, making me work out like a crazy person doing push ups. Really? Do you know anyone who actually likes push ups?! Let me rephrase. Do you know any SANE person who likes push ups?? Running, yes. Swimming, yes. Weights, check. But push ups? Never.
Also, how is it possible for the worst food on the planet for our bodies, can make us feel better?? For example. Target is remodeling. It reeks of paint fumes and other construction smells that I'm not familiar with! Add those smells to 6 am to 1pm, and you have a giant head ache and a tummy that is trying to decide if it's ready to grace world with it's social presence. This sort of resistant tummy does NOT make you want to ingest food ever again. When mother dearest sent me on a french fry and Diet Coke run at Maccy Dee's, I was ready to say no because any food smell is a temping vise to a tummy that wants to see the world.
But, being the wonderful daughter that I am (hahahahaha we can all laugh. This is a funny joke!) I went to cursed Maccy Dees and got her a Diet Coke and some fries. (Oh, I got me some Diet Coke too. It helps with tummy issues. It was an idea referred to me by Dr. Pepper. He's in a business partnership with doctor's Scholls and Suess. All are fantastic men.) Well, those fries smelled actually pretty decent to me, and did nothing to excite my tummy. After a handful of them, Tummy settled down and voila! I am no longer ready to introduce my innards to a garbage can or to the Porcellian God.
We all know McDonalds is a poor excuse for food. Fake chicken in their nuggets, who KNOWS what the burger is made from, and don't even get me started on the cheese made of rubber. How is it that an establishment that makes such vile "food" can make fries that are so becoming to the ill?? Maybe it's just the salt.. All I know, is if I have a stomach ache and need salt, I'm eating it off of fries, not out of a salt shaker.
Really quickly before I call this post finished, I wanted to update you on the Doorknob Battle. I wish I had more news. But, after a talk last night, it was short and veered off into a completely unrelated direction, we came up with no solution. For the time being, the saviors that are metal and have a funny nose that we like to pick frequently, will be staying in place to guard our worldly treasures.
Until next time!
In any case! I do have a few things that my or may not be entertaining to a few of you! I'll begin with a question? Do you believe that we do more than sleep, when we're sleeping? Besides the usual talking or occasional sleep walking adventure? Well, I have to tell you, we MUST do something more than sleep. How else would you explain how I woke up this morning with sore arms and shoulders when all that I accomplished yesterday was a House M.D. marathon and an impressive amount of stamina to stay laying on the couch for more hours then I would like to admit? Maybe my body knows that I feel guilty for not working out lately, so instead of sleeping, my brain shuts my consciousness out and takes over, making me work out like a crazy person doing push ups. Really? Do you know anyone who actually likes push ups?! Let me rephrase. Do you know any SANE person who likes push ups?? Running, yes. Swimming, yes. Weights, check. But push ups? Never.
Also, how is it possible for the worst food on the planet for our bodies, can make us feel better?? For example. Target is remodeling. It reeks of paint fumes and other construction smells that I'm not familiar with! Add those smells to 6 am to 1pm, and you have a giant head ache and a tummy that is trying to decide if it's ready to grace world with it's social presence. This sort of resistant tummy does NOT make you want to ingest food ever again. When mother dearest sent me on a french fry and Diet Coke run at Maccy Dee's, I was ready to say no because any food smell is a temping vise to a tummy that wants to see the world.
But, being the wonderful daughter that I am (hahahahaha we can all laugh. This is a funny joke!) I went to cursed Maccy Dees and got her a Diet Coke and some fries. (Oh, I got me some Diet Coke too. It helps with tummy issues. It was an idea referred to me by Dr. Pepper. He's in a business partnership with doctor's Scholls and Suess. All are fantastic men.) Well, those fries smelled actually pretty decent to me, and did nothing to excite my tummy. After a handful of them, Tummy settled down and voila! I am no longer ready to introduce my innards to a garbage can or to the Porcellian God.
We all know McDonalds is a poor excuse for food. Fake chicken in their nuggets, who KNOWS what the burger is made from, and don't even get me started on the cheese made of rubber. How is it that an establishment that makes such vile "food" can make fries that are so becoming to the ill?? Maybe it's just the salt.. All I know, is if I have a stomach ache and need salt, I'm eating it off of fries, not out of a salt shaker.
Really quickly before I call this post finished, I wanted to update you on the Doorknob Battle. I wish I had more news. But, after a talk last night, it was short and veered off into a completely unrelated direction, we came up with no solution. For the time being, the saviors that are metal and have a funny nose that we like to pick frequently, will be staying in place to guard our worldly treasures.
Until next time!
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Epic Battle of the Doorknobs
Lately at the Gerber house, we've been having issues with certain members of the family respecting personal space and not stealing things that don't belong to them. So, I recently invested in 2 new and improved doorknobs that come with 2 keys. That's right you dastardly fiend you. No q-tip will work on these doors! One is for my room, and the other, for the bathroom. Now. I keep one key for my room on me at all times. The other, I gave to my lovely and trustworthy sister. I do heart her. The bathroom situation is a bit trickier. Since my sister and I share with one of our brothers, we have to make sure that he can get into the bathroom as needed as well. So. Kindsey kept one key for the room of baths, and we hid the other in a quite strategic location! (Yeah, I came up with the spot.) It's brilliant.
Well, we did this on... one day last week, I don't remember. Only, my father wasn't home to see these household changes going on. I did inform my mother about them, since my family member seemed hell-bent on getting what they wanted. Short story: It's my $140 straightener. Now, can you blame me for being protective about such an expensive investment?? Yeah, it makes sense to me too. In any case, before I had this beautiful piece of hardware melded to my door, I hid it in my sisters room. She also has a keyed entry. Well, after the first time I found out this sneaky... something took my flat iron, to say I went postal is a bit of an understatement, Govna'. =)
I locked the straightener in my sisters room. The problem with this, is you can only control if YOU lock the door. Not if the other person does. Well, after it had been (poorly) hidden in her room (I mean really. She locks her door all the time. Was hiding it necessary?) Yes. It was. She left the door unlocked one after noon. I came home from work, got in the shower. In that time, that someone came home. Well, after I finished, I passed my sisters room, and realized her light was on, and her door was open. Now, this is not entirely unusual. It happens. But, to be on the safe side, I went and checked on my investment. You know what?? IT WAS HOT.
Well, I started shaking like a junkie, and got clothes on at hyper speed, and went upstairs and SCREAMED as loud as I could at this person that can't understand boundaries. It was quite the spat. I ended up in tears because I felt violated that I can't even put things in SOMEONE ELSE'S ROOM WITHOUT IT BEING TAKEN. I tried to leave that night. I couldn't be home around They-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Not since they can't respect my things, and especially not since I may have yelled a few profanities in their direction..That could get me some serious time.
Well, the doorknob investment seemed to be going very well! Until 2 nights ago about, that disrespectful person tried to enter the fortress of all that is bathituide. They were unpleasantly surprised to find a keyed entry on the door. So unpleasantly, they punched the door.. And splintered the wood.. and made a lovely crack. Now. I heard this noise, not knowing what it was except for scary. It wasn't until midnight that night, that my sister informed me that there was a hole in the door, and did I know why that person did it? OOOOOH. That noise made sense. As did the absence of personal from the vicinity of the noise. So, I told her I know how it happened and that I knew who had done it. Though, for the life of me, I still don't know why! There is NOTHING in this bathroom that belongs to that person. So, why would they try to break down the door to get something? Sure, this would makes sense if there were gold or diamonds smuggled in the pipes or a million dollars shoved in the lights, but no. Is a flat iron worth that? Or shears? (This is another point of speculation.)
Now that dad is home, he's discovered the locks. And how they all are different colors. My dad is a particular person. He likes things just so. I can't blame him for that. We all have our habits. But now, we're facing the battle of the doorknobs. Do we get to keep the locks to have protection over our things? Or, do we rid the house of the obtrusive objects that don't match the rest, and rely on family trust to keep our things to ourselves? It is not clear at this point, but, if the locks go, we may have to introduce a black box called "Safe" into the picture.
Though I love my family, and family is one of the most important things, how are we supposed to be familial and loving, when we have to put up walls, or locked doors in this case, because we can't trust all of the people we live with? This is a point of argument and applies to us all in this house. (Mom, I'm sorry I used your shower without asking. If it were not for me showering upstairs, I would've heard the burglary going on downstairs.)
That's all for today, but who knows? Maybe my next entry will be called, Sibling Face off: THAT'S MINE!
Well, we did this on... one day last week, I don't remember. Only, my father wasn't home to see these household changes going on. I did inform my mother about them, since my family member seemed hell-bent on getting what they wanted. Short story: It's my $140 straightener. Now, can you blame me for being protective about such an expensive investment?? Yeah, it makes sense to me too. In any case, before I had this beautiful piece of hardware melded to my door, I hid it in my sisters room. She also has a keyed entry. Well, after the first time I found out this sneaky... something took my flat iron, to say I went postal is a bit of an understatement, Govna'. =)
I locked the straightener in my sisters room. The problem with this, is you can only control if YOU lock the door. Not if the other person does. Well, after it had been (poorly) hidden in her room (I mean really. She locks her door all the time. Was hiding it necessary?) Yes. It was. She left the door unlocked one after noon. I came home from work, got in the shower. In that time, that someone came home. Well, after I finished, I passed my sisters room, and realized her light was on, and her door was open. Now, this is not entirely unusual. It happens. But, to be on the safe side, I went and checked on my investment. You know what?? IT WAS HOT.
Well, I started shaking like a junkie, and got clothes on at hyper speed, and went upstairs and SCREAMED as loud as I could at this person that can't understand boundaries. It was quite the spat. I ended up in tears because I felt violated that I can't even put things in SOMEONE ELSE'S ROOM WITHOUT IT BEING TAKEN. I tried to leave that night. I couldn't be home around They-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Not since they can't respect my things, and especially not since I may have yelled a few profanities in their direction..That could get me some serious time.
Well, the doorknob investment seemed to be going very well! Until 2 nights ago about, that disrespectful person tried to enter the fortress of all that is bathituide. They were unpleasantly surprised to find a keyed entry on the door. So unpleasantly, they punched the door.. And splintered the wood.. and made a lovely crack. Now. I heard this noise, not knowing what it was except for scary. It wasn't until midnight that night, that my sister informed me that there was a hole in the door, and did I know why that person did it? OOOOOH. That noise made sense. As did the absence of personal from the vicinity of the noise. So, I told her I know how it happened and that I knew who had done it. Though, for the life of me, I still don't know why! There is NOTHING in this bathroom that belongs to that person. So, why would they try to break down the door to get something? Sure, this would makes sense if there were gold or diamonds smuggled in the pipes or a million dollars shoved in the lights, but no. Is a flat iron worth that? Or shears? (This is another point of speculation.)
Now that dad is home, he's discovered the locks. And how they all are different colors. My dad is a particular person. He likes things just so. I can't blame him for that. We all have our habits. But now, we're facing the battle of the doorknobs. Do we get to keep the locks to have protection over our things? Or, do we rid the house of the obtrusive objects that don't match the rest, and rely on family trust to keep our things to ourselves? It is not clear at this point, but, if the locks go, we may have to introduce a black box called "Safe" into the picture.
Though I love my family, and family is one of the most important things, how are we supposed to be familial and loving, when we have to put up walls, or locked doors in this case, because we can't trust all of the people we live with? This is a point of argument and applies to us all in this house. (Mom, I'm sorry I used your shower without asking. If it were not for me showering upstairs, I would've heard the burglary going on downstairs.)
That's all for today, but who knows? Maybe my next entry will be called, Sibling Face off: THAT'S MINE!
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Rantings of an Incompetent Dater
What better day to post a FIRST BLOG POST then Valentines Day?! Since it is that special day of luuuuurrrrve, I figure I will post something about my inability to go on a normal date without psyching myself out! Anybody who knows me well, knows that I am about 86% insane.. and 14% caffeine.. It is probably not a very good mix in the dating world, but is TONS of fun when hanging out with friends, or killing time when you're by yourself. This is all fine and dandy, until you have to make a decent first impression on a potential match. This is also a very stressful situation that puts your tummy in knots and
makes your lunch threaten to reappear. Usually, I'm not one to go on dates. At least not human dates since my weekend evenings typically consist of me flat on my tummy in bed, reading and re-reading my favorite books. This makes for a very socially and romantically inept person. Any avid reader can agree with this. Most of the time, we spend out days fantasizing about some hero from one of our books. (Mine consist of pixie kings, princes and angels.. from either the fallen or heavenly persuasion.) Oh! And we cannot forget my obsession with Disney movies! Whether it be books or movies, they AREN'T real, but
I can't tell myself that!
Perhaps something happened from high school to now, but my social life plummeted. Not that I usually complain about being a book worm and Disney freak! (btw, did you know if you switch the D and the S in Disney, it spells my name! ah!) Only when boys start asking me to go out do I realize that I have NO idea what I'm doing. I'm inept at flirting. I cannot be seductive. Physical appearance barely registers on my scale of importance. At least my own appearance.
So, lately when I've gone out on a date, I've had ridiculously high expectations. "Yes, he will be my prince" or "will he behave as so-and-so from such and such book?" "Is he as romantic as this that and the other?" Oh. These poor boys have no idea what they are getting into when going out with me. How high my standards are. My expectations. Therefore, that is part One of my hindering qualities when it comes to dating. Part to in my inability to not make a snap judgment. I've always been pretty sure about what I want in my future hubby. So, if I meet someone for the first time, it's very hard not to make an instantaneous decision if I want to even go out with this person or talk to them ever again.
But, if life were simple and dating was easy, where would the fun be? How would the people who didn't know what they want actually KNOW that the people they marry or date are the things that they do or don't want? And how would those of us who know what we want get assurance that those really are the things we want or need? It would be quite a challenge. If ever I get any tips on how to make this dating thing easier, and suck a lot less, I will be sure to share it.
Happy Valentines day loved ones!! And for those who are like me and are single,
Happy S.A.D.!
makes your lunch threaten to reappear. Usually, I'm not one to go on dates. At least not human dates since my weekend evenings typically consist of me flat on my tummy in bed, reading and re-reading my favorite books. This makes for a very socially and romantically inept person. Any avid reader can agree with this. Most of the time, we spend out days fantasizing about some hero from one of our books. (Mine consist of pixie kings, princes and angels.. from either the fallen or heavenly persuasion.) Oh! And we cannot forget my obsession with Disney movies! Whether it be books or movies, they AREN'T real, but
I can't tell myself that!
Perhaps something happened from high school to now, but my social life plummeted. Not that I usually complain about being a book worm and Disney freak! (btw, did you know if you switch the D and the S in Disney, it spells my name! ah!) Only when boys start asking me to go out do I realize that I have NO idea what I'm doing. I'm inept at flirting. I cannot be seductive. Physical appearance barely registers on my scale of importance. At least my own appearance.
So, lately when I've gone out on a date, I've had ridiculously high expectations. "Yes, he will be my prince" or "will he behave as so-and-so from such and such book?" "Is he as romantic as this that and the other?" Oh. These poor boys have no idea what they are getting into when going out with me. How high my standards are. My expectations. Therefore, that is part One of my hindering qualities when it comes to dating. Part to in my inability to not make a snap judgment. I've always been pretty sure about what I want in my future hubby. So, if I meet someone for the first time, it's very hard not to make an instantaneous decision if I want to even go out with this person or talk to them ever again.
But, if life were simple and dating was easy, where would the fun be? How would the people who didn't know what they want actually KNOW that the people they marry or date are the things that they do or don't want? And how would those of us who know what we want get assurance that those really are the things we want or need? It would be quite a challenge. If ever I get any tips on how to make this dating thing easier, and suck a lot less, I will be sure to share it.
Happy Valentines day loved ones!! And for those who are like me and are single,
Happy S.A.D.!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)